Love: Today, I found out that I have been studying for the wrong final...

By finalssuck - United States

Today, I found out that I have been studying for the wrong final exam. One more hour until the test. FML

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21676

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36688

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Love

This Charming Man

Walk on the wild side

Family issues

By Anonypiss - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

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17607

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By Behemoth2 - France

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

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8365

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

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46151

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By bigmistake - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

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34059

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By strwbrry - United States

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

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36191

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By Boundaries - 4/2/2021 11:01

So that makes it alright?

Today, I confronted my boyfriend that I found his “hidden” Tinder profile and his horny messages between him and other girls. His response? “Babe, that was a month ago.” FML

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898

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

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34221

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By CheeseLover - United States - Spring

Today, the pizza delivery man and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML

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9685

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1124

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By blawbo - United States

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58551

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By biblepain - United States - Tucson

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36208

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2205

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By EMT_Koulianos - United States

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

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55023

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4074

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By bridezilla - New Zealand - Auckland

Honesty

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20394

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35124

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18582

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71676

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By Anonymous - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

543

You deserved it

1751

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By nick - United States

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30336

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2982

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By Anonymous - 14/5/2020 02:00

Contradictions everywhere

Today, I was demoted from my job because I didn't volunteer to help out with my job during COVID-19. I texted them on the day of sign-up to see if they had enough people. I was told since I was there not to worry about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1441

You deserved it

130

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By Anonymous

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to jump out from behind the bedroom door to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. I slipped and broke two ribs when I hit the ground. Instead of a sexy birthday evening, he got to take me to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4366

You deserved it

1362

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By ID10t - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7795

You deserved it

53729

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By Uknowwh - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54137

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4108

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By chicagobulls102 - United States

Today, the really cute guy who asked for my number last night texted me. He wanted to know if he could get my friend's number, because he'd been too shy to ask her directly. FML

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34674

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2780

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

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27049

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By not my fault you got knocked up - 9/8/2020 20:02

Sister of the year

Today, my older sister threw an epic tantrum, demanding that my parents not pay for my 21st birthday trip. She insists it’s not fair for them to gift me a trip, since she didn’t get to celebrate her 21st. She didn’t get to celebrate because she was pregnant. Now my mom wants to reconsider. FML

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2069

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169

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By Anonymous - 5/1/2021 00:58 - Canada - Brandon

Time marches on

Today, after looking back at our high school photos, I told my fiancée I’ve been scared lately that I’m getting uglier with age, and that I was much prettier back then. He got really quiet, and then agreed with me.. I’m only 24. FML

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719

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229

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

It's just liquid fun

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML

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22954

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By Bes - Canada

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

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17953

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By GodDamnFan - United States

Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML

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43131

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

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11820

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By stargirl - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

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39123

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By jakethed0g - United Kingdom

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33246

You deserved it

3050

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By rykelmb - United States - Anchorage

Today, I dropped my father-in-law's friend off at the airport, and I got in trouble because he ended up missing his flight. He only missed it because he forgot to check in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13714

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790

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

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51823

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By yashmoshin1 - United States

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

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54479

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By Franklin

Size isn't everything!

Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I am a 230-pound former soldier. He is a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML

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2201

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By Bareital - 3/12/2020 04:01 - United Kingdom

Commando

Today, the same day I decided to stubbornly go commando because my lazy boyfriend hasn’t taken his turn to do our laundry in 4 days was also the day I split my shorts squatting down to pick up my bag at the bus stop. Ten strangers saw my bare asscrack, and two teenagers started cat calling me for my butt tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1193

You deserved it

1070

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By Socarates - Ireland

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29187

You deserved it

5672

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By Stevarious - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was finally starting to relax after a stressful and expensive move, where I had to give up half my belongings and furniture, as well as my cat. All the stress came rushing back as my new landlord told me that he's selling the building and I've got 30 days to vacate. FML

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28295

You deserved it

2256

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By Anonymous - United States

Dingdong

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me. Thinking it would be the nice thing to do, I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20535

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By Stargirl - United States - Modesto

Today, in an attempt to support and encourage my efforts in getting a new job, my boyfriend said, "Imagine having triple what's in your bank account right now!" Triple what's in my bank account right now would be exactly $38.94. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5949

You deserved it

728

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By Anonymous - Singapore

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

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41671

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By alhummel21 - United States

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

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181376

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Top comments

By cmac86 | 23

#1000886 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:05

and you're on FML?! ydi.

By TheIrishJaneDoe | 8

#1000964 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:31

1: Perhaps it was a Chemistry test?

COMMENTS

By Skycayenne | 0

#1000845 - Friday 21 May 2010 18:55

anyway, you're doomed

BatteryAddict | 11

#3749112 - Sunday 18 December 2011 14:00

How's that even possible??!

By kate_mama2009 | 0

#1000861 - Friday 21 May 2010 18:58

that SUCKS! hope you knew the material for the other test.

jemmmaa | 0

#1001430 - Friday 21 May 2010 23:44

you have one hour to study for the real test and you are posting shit about your life?

By GamerGoddess | 0

#1000865 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:00

hahahah how does that even happen?

By silentfog | 0

#1000866 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:00

you're name should be 'i suck'

By knypny | 0

#1000868 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:00

that sucks you probably would have failed anyway because you seem to be retarded

lawlita | 0

#1000879 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:03

Agreed.

iSitt | 0

#1000913 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:13

hopefully you'll spend the rest of your life doublechecking the instructions

By amy_isa_dino | 0

#1000880 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:03

So. Many. Trolls.

By cmac86 | 23

#1000886 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:05

and you're on FML?! ydi.

By ImaginaryFoe | 0

#1000901 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:08

If you're too dumb to know what test to study for, you're probably too dumb to have done well anyway. Nothing lost.

By 1LL337 | 0

#1000916 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:13

YDI for being a [email protected]

By metalmaiden | 0

#1001015 - Friday 21 May 2010 19:54

God forbid you try and catch up on studying rather than wasting time posting an fml. -.-'