Love: Today, I found out that I have been studying for the wrong final...

By finalssuck - 21/05/2010 15:01 - United States

Today, I found out that I have been studying for the wrong final exam. One more hour until the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 690

You deserved it 36 708

Love

Good kid

Open season

College life is hell

By a tad whipped - 28/04/2013 20:44 - Australia

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 130

You deserved it 7 211

By Anonymous - 19/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Coplay

Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 611

You deserved it 478

By KingUrge - 26/04/2013 08:36 - United States - Victorville

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 336

You deserved it 9 680

Great handle!

By I'll Make You FartCum - 02/01/2015 21:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 323

You deserved it 9 095

By Peel - 13/12/2008 04:53 - France

Today, when I left the restaurant, the very handsome waiter whom I had been trying to tune all night says to me, in front of everyone "But why did you write your number on the table with hearts next to it? You know, I won't call you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 585

You deserved it 7 423

By God hates me - 26/01/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 051

You deserved it 8 219

By mirrorfad - 29/01/2010 05:49 - France

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 481

You deserved it 3 226

By mike - 10/07/2013 07:51 - United States

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 978

You deserved it 4 479

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 130

You deserved it 26 061

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 17:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 431

You deserved it 3 261

By Rizmo - 25/09/2016 07:11 - United States - Cedar City

Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 444

You deserved it 717

By it's shitty, yeah, stfu - 07/03/2013 17:10 - Sweden - Trollh?ttan

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 272

You deserved it 2 624

By blutownie13 - 09/04/2009 22:11 - United States

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 355

You deserved it 27 775

By anonymous - 10/09/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 937

You deserved it 3 347

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 147

You deserved it 3 680

By notyouagain - 03/10/2010 07:40 - Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 525

You deserved it 4 930

By fistpumpin4life - 10/10/2010 00:51 - France

Today, at work I asked a woman how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she said, I just replied with, "oh that's good." What she told me that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 566

You deserved it 33 286

Weird family

By call me humpty - 30/06/2018 20:30

Today, my dad knocked me down the steps while chasing my brother around the house shouting, "Get back here you pervert!" at the top of his lungs. I have a concussion and a vertebrae fracture because my dad is a religious nutjob and he caught my 22-year-old brother having premarital sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 353

You deserved it 325

By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 01:49 - United States

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 435

You deserved it 2 527

Birthday Boy

By Anonymous - 18/10/2019 02:00

Today, it's my 16th birthday. It's also it is the day my parents scheduled my wisdom teeth to be pulled out. Happy birthday to me, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 06/11/2016 13:50

Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 911

You deserved it 1 364

By klanciee - 16/07/2012 02:00 - United States - Valencia

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 401

You deserved it 2 196

By Jeathrow - 16/02/2012 15:01 - United States

Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 157

You deserved it 3 988

By Anonymous - 10/10/2018 16:00 - United States

Today, I helped this guy get into his truck after he'd locked his keys in it, and he said thank you and went on his way. Ten minutes later, a woman came out of the grocery store and freaked out, saying someone stole her truck. I helped a guy steal a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 260

You deserved it 732

By JBone - 22/01/2009 07:02 - Canada

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 397

You deserved it 33 227

By pop, pop - 08/05/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 953

You deserved it 7 714

By lonelygirl - 17/08/2012 23:33 - United States - Circleville

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 032

You deserved it 26 928

It's a Jedi knockout

By Edouard - 22/02/2021 11:01 - Switzerland

Today, my girlfriend and I are still arguing about the same subject, which is pretty much one of the only things we disagree on: whether Obi-Wan is hotter than Anakin or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 706

By Anonymous - 13/06/2013 15:13 - United States - Bemidji

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 297

You deserved it 13 659

By wrongguy - 11/05/2013 23:04 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 896

You deserved it 9 687

By Speedy - 20/07/2010 13:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 620

You deserved it 40 964

By propose_you_freakin_coward - 27/09/2013 12:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 389

You deserved it 6 728

By Lane - 18/11/2018 14:00

Today, I made a frustrating discovery about my new bunny. He can’t stand the fan in my small studio apartment, and thumps angrily and refuses to sleep if it's on. I can’t sleep with it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 583

You deserved it 408

By Burning Love - 15/03/2014 07:35 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 046

You deserved it 5 335

By dogdays - 10/11/2014 01:12 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 876

You deserved it 7 166

By TzarErik - 06/08/2014 23:33 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 595

You deserved it 2 799

By PityKitty - 24/12/2013 16:53

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 100

You deserved it 12 239

By Anonymous - 19/05/2019 22:05

Today, I got hit on. By a high school kid. Who looks exactly like Napoleon Dynamite. That was the only time anyone has ever hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 202

By TooTallNiCo - 28/11/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 977

You deserved it 35 978

By Username - 20/08/2011 09:20 - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 374

You deserved it 2 665

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cmac86 23

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:05

and you're on FML?! ydi.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:31

1: Perhaps it was a Chemistry test?

Skycayenne 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 18:55

anyway, you're doomed

BatteryAddict 11

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Sunday 18 December 2011 14:00

How's that even possible??!

kate_mama2009 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 18:58

that SUCKS! hope you knew the material for the other test.

jemmmaa 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 23:44

you have one hour to study for the real test and you are posting shit about your life?

GamerGoddess 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:00

hahahah how does that even happen?

silentfog 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:00

you're name should be 'i suck'

knypny 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:00

that sucks you probably would have failed anyway because you seem to be retarded

lawlita 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:03

Agreed.

iSitt 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:13

hopefully you'll spend the rest of your life doublechecking the instructions

amy_isa_dino 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:03

So. Many. Trolls.

cmac86 23

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:05

and you're on FML?! ydi.

ImaginaryFoe 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:08

If you're too dumb to know what test to study for, you're probably too dumb to have done well anyway. Nothing lost.

1LL337 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:13

YDI for being a [email protected]

metalmaiden 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 19:54

God forbid you try and catch up on studying rather than wasting time posting an fml. -.-'

Nearly

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 3

Today, my girlfriend called off our plans to get married, all because I didn't “make enough time” while I was busy renovating the house for her parents to come over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 336

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 679

Great handle!

Weird family

Birthday Boy

It's a Jedi knockout

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