By awkwardpineapples - United States - Birmingham Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML I agree, your life sucks 32774 You deserved it 2609 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Lafayette Thief Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML I agree, your life sucks 29831 You deserved it 39659 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Spawn_of_Satan - Hong Kong Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 58020 You deserved it 7405 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Emmy - United States Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 35261 You deserved it 3345 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By marie - 2/12/2020 23:02 - United States - San Jose Gamers rise up Today, after a stressful day at work, I just wanted to go home and play video games. And then I broke my thumb. FML I agree, your life sucks 818 You deserved it 131 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By leah12 - United States Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I am Leah. She mixed up the letters to the wrong envelopes. FML I agree, your life sucks 78411 You deserved it 3517 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sydthekid2000 Remember me? Today, I called my workplace to ask if I was going to be working, and if our store would be open. I was told that yes, we're still open, however, I can order inside, but I can’t sit in the dining room. They thought I was a customer. FML I agree, your life sucks 1232 You deserved it 245 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tyr88 - Australia - Blakehurst The first step is admitting you have a problem: take away is bad for you. Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML I agree, your life sucks 4474 You deserved it 1544 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Weezylover - United Kingdom Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML I agree, your life sucks 70581 You deserved it 7951 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stormy - United States Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML I agree, your life sucks 27792 You deserved it 8206 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zarko - Croatia - Zagreb The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one! Today, I created myself a Dropbox folder named "Traffic fines". FML I agree, your life sucks 3270 You deserved it 5530 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, after I caught my husband cheating and lying, he had the nerve to claim it wasn't a big deal because, "I always come home to you!" FML I agree, your life sucks 5398 You deserved it 380 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Loose Goose Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML I agree, your life sucks 2639 You deserved it 675 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - League City Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML I agree, your life sucks 47249 You deserved it 3627 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hatemyjob - Canada - Winnipeg Today, after working at the same place for 3 years, I found out that they are not only cutting my hours but now I have to take orders from some girl I trained because she was promoted over me. FML I agree, your life sucks 22419 You deserved it 2667 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML I agree, your life sucks 3366 You deserved it 259 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tequila - Netherlands Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML I agree, your life sucks 30505 You deserved it 3185 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML I agree, your life sucks 41842 You deserved it 6332 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Erie Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML I agree, your life sucks 30943 You deserved it 3177 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sharkiewarkiemoosey - Switzerland - Gossau Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML I agree, your life sucks 40399 You deserved it 3997 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex in the shower. While trying to support her weight, as we got into things, I slipped backwards on the wet floor and fell through the Pyrex side of the shower, with her crashing down on me. I now have bits of Pyrex in my back and have to replace the shower side. FML I agree, your life sucks 1717 You deserved it 736 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Egypt - Cairo Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML I agree, your life sucks 30711 You deserved it 2410 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States - Port Saint Lucie Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML I agree, your life sucks 26433 You deserved it 2886 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML I agree, your life sucks 5318 You deserved it 450 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AlwaysAfraid - United States Today, I received the honorary title of "student of the month," because I'm the only quiet kid during class. Truth is, I just have no friends. I was given an award for being socially awkward. FML I agree, your life sucks 25705 You deserved it 2492 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GothicbunnyxC - Canada Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML I agree, your life sucks 9640 You deserved it 35317 171 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smellyhair - United Kingdom Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML I agree, your life sucks 40009 You deserved it 3825 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By igotsbadluck - United States - Smyrna Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 24023 You deserved it 41871 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML I agree, your life sucks 34024 You deserved it 4668 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bad luck Bianca - United States - Houston Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML I agree, your life sucks 26766 You deserved it 10171 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MondayonaTuesday Today, while rushing to a big marketing presentation, I started feeling ill in my car. I was stuck in traffic, and before I could get my window open I threw up all over my suit. All I had were some tissues to try to clean the mess before presenting to a full boardroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 3513 You deserved it 304 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By foreseeingabreakup - United States Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML I agree, your life sucks 37142 You deserved it 6984 215 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML I agree, your life sucks 1634 You deserved it 95 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML I agree, your life sucks 41602 You deserved it 5884 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cougar26 - United States - Pullman Today, my boss had a breakdown and sent me home early. Apparently my voice reminds him of his abusive stepfather. He said I'm lucky he's on medication. FML I agree, your life sucks 24937 You deserved it 1503 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML I agree, your life sucks 46002 You deserved it 17517 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sweet92 - United States Today, I went to a store to buy pants for a new job. A really hot guy helped me get a pair down from a high shelf so I could try them on. He had flirted with me so I hurried in the fitting room so I could go talk to him. Note to self: Check to see if you have pants on after trying on clothes. FML I agree, your life sucks 12975 You deserved it 53870 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nekogirl15 - United States Today, I convinced my best friend to talk to the guy I like at work to find out if he was interested in me. She came back ten minutes later, and told me he said he'd never be able to date me. Apparently, kissing me "would be like making out with Mother Teresa's corpse." FML I agree, your life sucks 30081 You deserved it 3801 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Samipearl - United States Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 29403 You deserved it 6367 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unfortunate Painter - United States - Merced Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML I agree, your life sucks 23705 You deserved it 3249 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Notthemaid - United States Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML I agree, your life sucks 56401 You deserved it 2862 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By emmama19 | 15 #6166595 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:16 Testing to check they're not poisonous before you eat with them. Send a private message 97 3 Reply
By singer0421 | 32 #6166602 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:29 Sister used Lick. It's super disgusting! Send a private message 73 6 Reply
By emmama19 | 15 #6166595 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:16 Testing to check they're not poisonous before you eat with them. Send a private message 97 3 Reply
Reply whos_ur_daddy1 | 19 #6166723 - Thursday 8 January 2015 15:51 Some people wanna watch the world burn Send a private message 9 1 Reply
Reply GreekYogurt | 26 #6400408 - Thursday 3 September 2015 1:04 They're poisoned now! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By lndala | 15 #6166596 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:20 That is disgusting. Why would she even do such a thing? Send a private message 21 7 Reply
By lozominebox | 13 #6166597 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:21 She is seeing if the cake really was a lie Send a private message 4 18 Reply
Reply laden_swallow09 | 34 #6166692 - Thursday 8 January 2015 14:38 That made so sense. I get the reference, yet still irrelevant. Send a private message 14 2 Reply
By bombielol | 20 #6166598 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:24 what did you guys do to her? I hope you made her wash all of the silver wear op :p Send a private message 4 20 Reply
Reply MidnaLink | 32 #6166685 - Thursday 8 January 2015 14:15 It's written right there and you still screw up the spelling… oy vey! Send a private message 17 3 Reply
Reply tantanpanda | 26 #6166962 - Thursday 8 January 2015 20:25 silver wear! I'd love to wear silver. You probably can't clean them normally though. Send a private message 4 2 Reply
Reply dragonkisses28 | 25 #6167239 - Friday 9 January 2015 3:13 I prefer gold wear. Silver just clashes with my skin tone. Send a private message 7 1 Reply
By ToxicTyrael | 26 #6166599 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:24 Is she mad at sbd in your family? You can confront her with it maybe she tells you the reason? Send a private message 2 13 Reply
Reply ohjoy15 | 33 #6166810 - Thursday 8 January 2015 17:23 Or she's just a little psycho. Everyone gets mad, not everyone licks silverware to deal with it. That's a health issue. Send a private message 3 5 Reply
Reply ohjoy15 | 33 #6166815 - Thursday 8 January 2015 17:27 She could make everyone sick. Send a private message 2 7 Reply
By singer0421 | 32 #6166602 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:29 Sister used Lick. It's super disgusting! Send a private message 73 6 Reply
Reply EmoKami | 21 #6166611 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:34 Definitely would have left me paralyzed! :P Send a private message 14 3 Reply
Reply ohSNAPyall | 26 #6166943 - Thursday 8 January 2015 19:58 It would make me berserk! Send a private message 0 3 Reply
Reply Roku_Crow | 12 #6166995 - Thursday 8 January 2015 21:13 I don't always see, but when I do, it's what you did there Send a private message 3 4 Reply
By Gib31 | 18 #6166606 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:30 One question: how old is she? Send a private message 30 1 Reply
By EmoKami | 21 #6166607 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:30 Better than toads! Send a private message 1 7 Reply
By CuteCammy | 15 #6166608 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:30 That is just gross Send a private message 3 3 Reply
By martin8337 | 35 #6166609 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:31 Hopefully she doesn't have AIDS or hepatitis. Send a private message 0 23 Reply
Reply pooldude | 24 #6166617 - Thursday 8 January 2015 11:45 AIDS is not spread by spit dumbass (except when you have ulcers in ur mouth)! Send a private message 23 0 Reply
Today, I found out why I’ve been covering most of the bills and the rent. Turns out my boyfriend is paying a very expensive OnlyFans subscription for his... I agree, your life sucks 476 You deserved it 50 6 Comments
Today, I'm in a relationship in which the sex was great and constant at the beginning. Now it’s so quick, bad and inconsistent, it’s like going at it with... I agree, your life sucks 636 You deserved it 104 1 Comments