By snow - 22/09/2009 09:12 - Australia

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 58 822
You deserved it 6 781

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Awww hun,don't worry ): Maybe he wasn't your father and was just creeped out at your message since it came from a stranger claiming to be his daughter. But if he was your father,then **** him,he's not worth you!

4th He is not your father. The man who raised you is. Better off without him in your life.

Comments

I would've blocked you too. A public forum is not the way to contact your biological father, it's something you want to do in private. Then later, depending on your new relationship you can announce it to the world. Failure on your part, not your "dad."

What public forum? She sent him a message, not a wall post.

Looks like someone needs to use the dictionary before embarrassing themselves on public forums.

She sent him a message-those are private. She didn't write on his wall for the whole world to see.

There are old high school friends I have re-connected with via Facebook. It was the only place I have found information on them. Couldn't find addresses, phone numbers, etc., but I looked up their names on Facebook and taadaa-found them. Apparently its way too much critical thinking for people on FML to consider that maybe the OP was only able to find any info on the guy online.

You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?

Laiaira 0

A message is JUST like an email. Private. No one can see it. So it's not a "public forum". I'm not sure she had another approach to contact him. If you can only see the person and cannot click to see their public profile, she would not have had an address, or a phone number, or an email. Messaging is one of the few options available to you if you're not friends with the person. Regardless, maybe there was another method, but there is no point for him to block her. FYL, OP, that totally blows that your father has no interest in even pretending to be friendly through an internet website/social application like Facebook.

Facebook isn't an appropriate forum for that sort of thing. Getting a message from a total stranger claiming to be your daughter will likely be dismissed as a prank. How did you phrase it anyway? If it's anything like the average Facebook message, I'm not surprised he blocked you. A polite letter (or even a phone call) would be a much better alternative. Make sure you include relevant details like your mother's name, where they met, the year you were born, etc. He may not be aware (or just forgot) he even had a daughter.

Are you completely sure he is your father? If so, does he even know he's your father? Even if he does, do you think he would even want to be reminded of you if the reason he's gone is because your mother cheated on him? And even if she didn't, might there be some other reason he doesn't want to get to know you? For all he knows, you might just be trying to get something out of him. Your FML poses too many unanswered questions, if indeed that's what it is. Sure it sucks to not know your father, but I'd recommend reserving the asshole category until you know he actually is one.

Since when has a full report and background profile of the fmylife been necessary? This one's simple and to the point. Anyone would say fmylife in this situation. One wouldn't think, "Gee, my father doesn't want me. But I see his point." Not saying his action wasn't understandable. But if it was you, you wouldn't be so quick to realise that.

janise 2

So what if the mother cheated? If her father knew she existed then he was an asshole for leaving his child regardless of the reasons. And if he doesn't know then her mom is an ass for keeping his child from him. Of course, that's assuming there weren't any issues like drugs or he was in some sort of gang that could endanger the child. In that case I can see why the mom would not tell him. BTW I'm not assuming this FB guy was her dad. I'm talking about her actual dad in general not this guy or his actions on FB specifically.

that's just plain mean if he knows you and blocked you , just move on, don't waste your time on him, he's not worth it.

Being part of a family who has dealt with adoption, I agree that facebook is a TERRIBLE a way to contact your biological father that you've never met before. A phone call is much more personal, and if you cant reach them by phone, then go to a letter. But there are way too many factors and way too many emotions in a reunion like that to do it over the internet. You dont even know that it was him who blocked you! It could have been his wife. Oh, and unfortunately, the biological parent not wanting to talk to the child is a common thing. I'm sure it is very hard to deal with because you're being denied for the second time in your life, so i'm very sorry about that. But if there is ever a next time, try doing that kind of thing in a more personal manner. You might be taken more seriously. *Edit* this wasn't supposed to be a reply to the above comment, sorry.

Well, it's Obvious something went wrong, huh? Either he is NOT really your father, or he doesn't KNOW he is your father, OR, he doesn't want to be acknowledged as your father right now. When someone gives a child up, there is a reason, and it's obvious, he isn't ready to be a real father to you. I think if I were you, I would just move on, and let him alone. If he wants- he knows how to contact you now.

I'm sorry :-( If he's going to act like that, you're better off without him in your life.

Herbal_fml 0

You totally deserved it. Facebook is not the way to go for sensitive topics like this, I don't care if it was a private message. It's still facebook.

lem0n_fml 0

Who gives a shit if it's facebook or email or a phone call? They're all forms of communication and she was taking a big step in trying to contact him in any way. No one deserves to have a jackass like that as a father.

decoybag 0

Nah, I disagree. - Facebook IS a crappy way to contact your FATHER. He's not really a jackass...I mean honestly, how many "randoms" add you to Facebook as a friend? Tons! (and you don't even know any of them!) Phone Call/Face-to-face > Facebook

Meeting a biological parent for the first time is an emotional, life-changing experience than should be agreed to by both parties. Facebook is not the place for that. WTF?

The OP totally didn't deserve that. 'Blah blah Facebook isn't the place for reunions', are you kidding me? Not all of us are rich enough to hire PIs to go hunting down absent family members. Sometimes a private message to a person's FB is the one and only way to get in contact with them, or find other family members who can help you get in contact with the person you're trying to find. My best friend was abandoned by her mother as a child, and through Facebook has not only gotten back in contact with her mother, but also now has a relationship with her aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, and half-siblings. She has been to visit some of her newfound relatives and is a much happier person knowing where she comes from and feeling like she has what she was always missing in her life. My husband has been half-heartedly searching for his biological mother his whole life - she left him when he was a baby and we don't know whether she is alive or dead. She could have remarried, we don't know her last name, we can't find a phone number, address or email for this woman. A girl claiming to be her niece contacted my husband through FB asking if he was her cousin, she knew enough about his parents for him to be sure she was. Then, when he messaged her confirming they were related, and asking about his mother, she blocked him. We don't know what 'scared' her off, but it was pretty much our last hope of finding his mother. We can't afford to hire a PI. We have followed every trail we could think of to find this woman, to no avail. What other hope did we have? To say that this girl deserved to be blocked by the man who had a hand in creating her is so wrong. Maybe the FB message was an attempt to get a phone number so she could do it 'properly' and call him or visit with him. Whatever the circumstances, he is an ASSHOLE for blocking her, I hope the OP can move on knowing that her life is better without him in it. He doesn't deserve to be involved in her life if that's the way he's going to act.

moonlight_daze 8

Same here. Although I'm not sure than an abscent father is any better than a dead father. OP: At least you got your mom, right?

moonlight_daze 8

"Hers might as well be dead." Exactly.. That's what I was saying. I was replying to someone who said something along the lines of "At least your father is alive. Mine is dead". But the comment I was replying to has disapeared.. Actually, the entire comment section for this FML is really ****** up. There was a major glitch in the system.

mushrooms_fml 0
DirtyDiana_fml 0

make another. message him then call him a ****