Valentine's slay, Living together and Health: Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work....

By no tp - 15/02/2012 01:26 - United States

Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 788

You deserved it 8 319

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Same thing different taste

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 633

By phukt - 19/05/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 174

You deserved it 30 562

We've all done it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 04:00

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 215

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 18:33 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 905

You deserved it 8 669

By CallmeEddie - 14/11/2013 16:44 - United States - Joliet

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 878

You deserved it 4 905

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 713

You deserved it 35 109

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 2 409

Always check before

By Anonymous - 19/05/2017 14:00

Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 678

You deserved it 948

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 339

Panic! At the Costco

By abutorac951 - 16/03/2020 16:48

Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 163

LaColombianita 26

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:02

You do what you gotta do to keep your ass clean.

abbyhoneywaffles 11

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:05

That would be awful. The fluff comes off of those things so easily.. That shit must be all up in your areas.

Comments

DalPozzo13 10

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:21

FYL

speshlk37 13

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:26

I think you can use three seashells somehow. I saw it in a movie...

LadyA13 1

Wednesday 15 February 2012 18:22

For years I've been wondering how the three sea shells were supposed to work! Baffling!!

chelseaaababyyy 17

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:27

yikes. you don't have paper towels, or maybe even a wash cloth you could use ? that would be better than cotton balls. i could only imagine the mess.

liftedyoda 5

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:53

Agree but a guess they dont think like a normal person

NateSkye 3

Saturday 18 February 2012 10:11

Aw don't use washcloth, that's towlies son

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:28

Poor you. How terrible that you have to wipe your ass with pure cotton. What an inflated sense of entitlement to have if you think this is an FML.

vde_fml 15

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:45

......there is one thing called water perhaps you have heard of it.

SoultheWolf 19

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:47

Did it not occur to you to ask a neighbor? Use napkins or towels? Even walk to a damn store!?

perdix 29

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:59

Well, at least you're getting some balls slapping against your ass on Valentine's Day. Only your diary will be fooled.

Blueglasscup 18

Wednesday 15 February 2012 10:10

At least you're not on your period too (I hope)?

Metteris 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 10:29

I really fail to see the problem? Why can't you just go out and buy some toilet paper? You don't need a car to do that, or your friends. How hard can it be to go to a store and pick some up? A lot of people don't have cars. You don't see them wiping with cotton balls.