anon
United States
Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Mojo_Jojo
China
Couch action
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Mojo
United Kingdom
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
manderz?
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Beach Haven, United States
Love is…
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Anonymous
Clarksville, United States
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
drpepperking10
United States
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
jswag2004
Elgin, United States
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Sad_Happy_Gorl
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Slobber
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
dontask
United States
Classy
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
ug
Canada
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Anonymous
United States
Creeped out of here
Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML
Top comments
Blueglasscup 18
At least you went on a date with your crush!
hook_em 0
just one question. how do you know what a dying slug feels like on your lips? do you eat them things or something?
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Comments (208)
jewfro311 0
FYL
instnt1nfction 17
I usually think of the noise a chicken makes when it's neck is being cut off....
moosemonkey1000 6
Ew.
shannonreneee 11
It is the worst thing kissing a person who doesn't kiss the same as you. They aren't a bad kisser, just different. Feel your pain.
volley4eva1698 0
I wish people werent so eager to get the first comment that they'll only say stupid things like LOL or FYL. how hard is it to think of an actual comment?
Why4426 0
I ate me kat
MrSassypants 33
40 first! It's especially funny when they say that and fail. 8)
MissBunnyWillEat 11
It was that good, eh?
lovebug13kld 0
you're stupid
QwertyMcNugget 0
>~< GUYS! I just gagged!
volley4eva1698 0
62 hahaha ikk it's sorta patheticc...
FarSide 22
How's that?? Slow, slimy, left a trail, blood loss? Inquiring minds want to know!
BagleHead 6
So it was really slow, passionate and seemed to melt in your mouth? I'm jealous, OP
BigHoshJosh 0
that was a waste of a first comment
pinkspaceboundro 0
Bahahaha! that commercial cracks me up!
dolphincheddar 10
life is overrated
xInMyDreams 0
HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA
bentleysdad11611 0
EMO ??
hmmdevonn_fml 0
felt that before lol /:
no65438 0
well that's sexy...not.
haha1494 0
brushing your teeth?
alazae 0
; Ah what made if feel like that.?
6tori6 5
yah, was it his breath? or the way he kissed you....?
GermanOnslaught 13
Probably how he flailed his tongue around?
xxlauruh 0
maybe it was all dry.
daisyloo 7
Aren't slugs slimey though??
Ieatpeople1984 0
Probably slimy and limp
JesusFishTaco 5
She should've poured salt on him.
YourDrunkle 4
salt the snail, salt the snail! Oh wait, that's something else.
johnnyredcorn 5
It felt like a dying slug, so it was probably limp, lifeless and wet. :l
comepoopwithme 0
#99 like a vigina, so now we figured out why this is really an FML.
hellogoodbye1996 6
99- I'm not gonna argue or fight about it but in my opinion if someone says their mature for their age well it's immature to say it...I know a 9 year old that tells me all the time. so your equivalent to a 9 year old. have fun (:
holly_41611 0
hahaha there was a really funny it's always sunny in philadelphia episode like that
johnnyredcorn 5
107, Creeping my bio then accusing someone you don't know for being immature sounds pretty immature itself. Thanks for your opinion though, but it really doesn't matter.
johnnyredcorn 5
Also, this coming from a 15 year old? Everyone thinks that they have the whole world solved at that age.
CryMoreFMLs 14
johnnyredcorn, I had to creep I'm sorry. We share the same nfirst name apparently. Awkward stalking turns into Awkward conveesation
Miss_Awesome_101 0
that answer was awkward
Jojo08_fml 0
107! your completely right! (:
FarSide 22
"Creeping" your bio? You are joking, right? It's public info on this site. Don't put something in there that you don't want everyone to know.
johnnyredcorn 5
129, there is absolutely nothing in my bio that I wouldn't want people to know, it is the fact that instead of saying something relevant to the comment, they had to read my bio then posting something that had nothing to do with anything, this site isn't about attempting to knock people down. Take your cyber bullshit else where and get your head out of your ass.
Blueglasscup 18
At least you went on a date with your crush!
cgchamp89 7
Yeah, but there probably won't be another... who wants to date a dying slug?
volley4eva1698 0
I doooo! dying slugs are sexxxy
MrSassypants 33
Oh thank god for you're comment! I was about to say "What did you expect it's your cousin?" I misread the FML.
jamie72596 9
I know! I thought it said "cousin" somewhere in there too :/
spearhead 5
how do you mix up crush with cousin????
geko911 22
hes mixing up his weird fetish with OP's
KatieElizabeth 0
This happened to me like two weeks ago and it was a guy I'd liked for three years and it was sooo disappointing buut on the bright side you can finally get over him
MrSassypants 33
122 I don't know how I just did 137 no not at all. OP's fetish is an FML and mine is not *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*.
bizzylizzy 0
lol that happened to me a few months ago. for me it was more like a squid having a seisure
Fx13mz 7
Snail trail!
peakcheer 2
lol^^
dryuminoru576 16
Hey but isnt a snail trail also the hair around a belly button Ah ha ha ha ha XD he kissed and and it reminded me of a snail trail heh heh
jd6200 0
Nasty breath? damn FYL.
illneedasaviour 0
it wasn't that he had bad breath; it was that he didn't know how to kiss.
allthatremains25 0
FYL. maybe that's the last date too?
YacL 15
That's messed up. I never thought people would think of a dying slug while kissing someone. I've thought wrong.
Moota 9
I know! She went on a date with her crush then they even kissed! I guess OP wasn't really into it.
shelby0123 0
Love the pic
barlessprison 16
So he got you all wet with his kisses huh.
Captain_Zorro 7
just not her mouth...
Cake_or_death 2
not a big deal really. you should work on it with him if you really like him.
Monii_Harlz 11
I tots agree with you :) practice makes perfect!
Lqum26 0
Ya maybe you guys had like sushi for dinner or something similar? It was probably just the food he ate no big deal just make sure he uses breath mints next time after the meal.
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
42 love your pic :)
omfg_creepers 8
maybe he felt the same way too
TattedUP89 0
lol so true