anon
United States
Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Mojo_Jojo
China
Couch action
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Mojo
United Kingdom
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
manderz?
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Beach Haven, United States
Love is…
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Anonymous
Clarksville, United States
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
drpepperking10
United States
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
jswag2004
Elgin, United States
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Sad_Happy_Gorl
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Slobber
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
dontask
United States
Classy
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
ug
Canada
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Anonymous
United States
Creeped out of here
Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML
Top comments
Blueglasscup 18
At least you went on a date with your crush!
hook_em 0
just one question. how do you know what a dying slug feels like on your lips? do you eat them things or something?
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Comments (208)
ameanberg 1
YDI for being a bitch.
anovick 0
Maybe his breath smells Luke a dying slug?
olive47_fml 0
dirty mouth? clean it up with orbit!
CaiteeElizabeth 0
OP- Well, I'm not saying that it ruins it because he's been one of my best friends for years and I love the kid to death. So I'm obviously not giving up on him. He actually asked me to go steady today :) Also, I did say it made me think of a dying slug... how you made that into me kissing one? I've got no clue how that was managed.
trefizzle24 1
do slugs have cocks?
zembof 3
that bad huh?
inlovewithPosey2 0
how does that work? lol you've kissed a dying slug?:P
166324 0
wait, why do you know what a dying slug feels like in your mouth?
ectamar 0
ouch! well your two best options are teach him how to do it right, or leave him be.
CaiteeElizabeth 0
I said it made me think of that, not that it felt that way.