PissyPants
United States
Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
RitaDahhlinnnng
United States
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
shelly
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Sprinkler
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
hollysofly
United States
Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML
Killme
Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
alf
France
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
never again
Bakersfield, United States
A real ******
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
ac-hoo
India
Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML
Top comments
tencentsakiss 19
Puppys also piss when excited. Are you sure you aren't really a puppy? Bad dog! Get off the Internet.
superbadd 0
mah first kiss went a little this *muah* then piss *ssss* *ssss* then piss :D
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Comments (292)
Ninja666_fml 0
13 and 14- op is a girl
yung_dee 0
lol virgin
pandemic_fml 0
89: I'm a woman, and I really like a guy who can use proper capitalization, punctuation, spelling, and grammar. You must like stupid girls. It's a damn shame people like you are breeding. You're a degradation to the collective intelligence of humanity.
nightELFassasin6 0
agreed with sonnet and cinn stop trying to be nice u know he's right
awesome_RICKY 0
GEEK!!! how old r u?!
s2000lover 0
89- let's see... I'm 25, just divorced with 2 kids. I think I've gotten laid at least a few times, while you are too busy tokin it up. oh yeah, and I make $150k a year. what have you done with your life?
The_Fonz_fml 0
Ayeeeeee 62 calm down yes the iTouch is real it's the alternate name for the iPod touch that even the creators call it an iTouch.
s2000lover 0
120- I think I love you.
KTpants 0
Thank you 120!
The_Fonz_fml 0
oops I meant 77 sorry only read the comment first time