Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
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Top comments
jonnymohio 2
Turnabout is fair play. Point at her boobs and laugh.
Shady06 0
lolz that sucks xD all you gotta tell her is..."baby it's not about the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean" :D than stick it in her mouth lolz
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Comments (81)
perdix 31
My most charitable reading of the situation was that she was relieved that you didn't have a giant horse **** and that she was going to enjoy pleasant comfortable sex with a nice, normal-sized penis. She would also be able to deep-throat you without gagging TOO much. Just enough, but not too much. That's as good as I can do.
robor007 0
see if it's still funny in her back door!
TenebrificTurtle 0
Did you stuff your pants with a tube sock, dude that is so sixth grade. Tell her if she wants you can **** her in the nose, then she can smell what the rock is cooking.
Gmfm86 0
Well did u bang her?
Lilman11 0
sucks for u twinkle dick
LaughingAtJuu 0
Her ass needs some reading materials is what id say...
CableX17 0
.....I don't get it
Larnos 0
hahaha, yeah did you end up rooting her?
hutsmundi89 0
lmao. YDI
lulu_nelle 0
my ex-boyfriend was that way... when we first had sex, i could have sworn he was bigger.. but no.. he has a baby penis. one day he asked me how it felt to be a **** (which isn't true by any means) and i said, "how does it feel to have a small penis and being horrible at sex, tyler?" :D it was hilariouss!
bballboy91 0
YDI for having a baby penis...