Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
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Top comments
jonnymohio 2
Turnabout is fair play. Point at her boobs and laugh.
Shady06 0
lolz that sucks xD all you gotta tell her is..."baby it's not about the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean" :D than stick it in her mouth lolz
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Comments (81)
3arl 0
ur fault for having a small penis an not using extense
MiseryMan 0
She laughed as a means of relief. After seeing the HUGE penis that will be destroying the lower half of her body, she forced herself to laugh as a means of relieving the surge of fear for what was to come.
I_GET_ASS 0
1. uncircumsized............................... 2. small............................................. 3. bent............................................... 4. it looks like a bunny or her favorite cartoon show..................................... 5. all of the above......((right answer is all of the above))
BoCo_fml 9
Uncircumcised does look laughable if you've never seen one before. But too bad she didn't refrain. OP: dick slap her in the face
iluvpandas 0
LMAO
PerfectAngel 0
lmao, these comments are funny ;D but rly was it small or what????
Ninjaface 0
I told you that Hello Kitty tattoo was a bad idea.
Jonathan33 0
snap!
moopsy234 0
see how much she can laf wen ur penis and balls are shoved down her throat!
rutuu92 14
English mother ******, do you speak it?
FromCFL 0
YDI for dating a 10-year-old who had obviously never seen a dick before.
perdix 31
That's ri-dick-ulous.