Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 89 Share Tweet Share
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML I agree, your life sucks 55 130 You deserved it 2 836
Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML I agree, your life sucks 761 You deserved it 151
Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML I agree, your life sucks 15 580 You deserved it 49 066
Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 54 785 You deserved it 6 972
Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML I agree, your life sucks 20 379 You deserved it 1 294
Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 801 You deserved it 4 539
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.