Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
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Top comments
Tubasaurus 0
I just got this cool think installed at my house. It's probably the best invention ever. It's called a faucet.
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Well, OP said that she put the laxatives into her own water (that the other roommates happened to be taking), so I don't think that would qualify as poisoning. If someone tried to take her to court, she could just say that the water was hers and she could do whatever she wanted with it.
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Comments (58)
Ninjaface 0
Wow, a lot of people these days seem to be really forgetful. It must be something in the water.
pms247 0
YDI cuz FYI, water is free... if it's a Brita, it takes 30sec to fill it back up... you're extremely petty and cheap to not want to share something that's FREE and replaceable
UsernameHere_ 0
YDI for A) Being a dumbass and drinking the stuff and B) Contaminating your own water so that you couldn't drink it to solve the problem of not having any water to drink...
Cassiebangz 0
ydi- I'm srry but u do.
tencalories 3
idiot
Amfutbol 0
YDI for being that much of a dumbass
Muser97 1
Lol too FMLs about laxatives!!!!
Bquillero16 18
So are you a smart person that made a stupid mistake or a stupid person that came up with a good idea?
xrudeboyrock 29
This doesn't make sense to me. By your water disappearing, I have to assume you mean like a case of Poland Spring bottles. And you can't spike those, who would steal an already-opened water bottle? So then we must assume that it's a pitcher or filter, in which case... take four steps to the sink, dude.