Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
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Top comments
Tubasaurus 0
I just got this cool think installed at my house. It's probably the best invention ever. It's called a faucet.
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Well, OP said that she put the laxatives into her own water (that the other roommates happened to be taking), so I don't think that would qualify as poisoning. If someone tried to take her to court, she could just say that the water was hers and she could do whatever she wanted with it.
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Comments (58)
Mylife_is_so_fd 0
and btw in th future use ippecac not laxatives watching people suffer as they barf consantly if more funny and more pain for them esspesially once they dont got anything more to barf up and the dry heaves start
Dr_Pepper_fml 3
I'm probably the only person here who can entirely relate to the OP. Our water system last year was contaminated with Samonella, seriously. I'm from out of state and I'll drink the tap water--I don't give a $#!t and bottled water is $4+ per pack (did that ever occur to any of you people? Yeah, it's just water, but it's not 3 cents/galon tap water!). Nobody else here will--so the whole water thing IS a big deal around here. On my entire college campus I've never met ANYONE else who will drink the tap water after last year. Sure, I think that makes them ******* but in any case, I know of a few cases where roommates were stealing eachother's (oh, and by the way, if the OP lives in a dorm he probably DOES NOT HAVE A FAUCET/TAP) water. I'd be pissed too.
tsundere 1
This guy spoke the truth. Not all tap water, especially in large city areas, are the cleanest to drink from. Granted, bottled water's not much better in many cases, but it makes people feel safer. And yeah, if she's in a dorm, she's got no sink to drink from except in the bathroom which is probably shared with everyone, and even I wouldn't touch that shit - girls are NOT that clean with their community bathrooms. AND you all forget that the point of it all was to catch the person stealing ALL of the food. Talking to them first would've been better than just doing that though.
pms247 0
you can't contaminate bottled water without people realizing the seal was broken and not drinking it, so this theory doesn't make sense. it seems to me that this is a water filter that keeps not being refilled after being used, in which case her roommates are rude (cuz the expensive filter will crack if left dry for too long) but she's a bitch for not sharing free water... if it is bottled and her roommates are fucktards and still drink water that has CLEARLY been opened, then they all deserve each other.
Candre_fml 0
penis-face
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, you are a waste of space and resources on this planet. YDI
ladiesman14 0
so what did you get the runs or squirts ? or did you have steamers and growlers all day ? or did you have a rocky road or warm hershey highway. Just wondering , ive never used those before.
FerrariCake 2
"First thing that kept disappearing was my water." Your water didn't "disappear"... you probably drank it and then forgot. Which would explain why you then drank the laxative-laden water also. In fact, you probably don't really even have roommates... just the voices in your head.
juliancohen1 0
loser
davek 36
YDI, but only for not executing the plan better, this is actually win.
xApril 0
Luckily, Karma gave you a hand with those serious overreacting issues you need to control..
st87 0
no points for setting up trap. negative points for tasting your own medicine!