Miscellaneous: Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over...

By spanishgirl101 - 10/02/2010 02:52 - Canada

Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 855

You deserved it 3 067

Miscellaneous

Age difference

Batman

Seize the means

By Blonde - 11/03/2015 03:03 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 046

You deserved it 6 396

Pushover

By Anonymous - 23/10/2021 13:59 - Australia

Today, my wife always wants to spend on big items, like a new pool or home renovations; I want to save for our future. At 45 years of age, we are in heavy debt and I have no other assets as a backup. I should have stood up to her from the beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 546

By moudly - 06/01/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 545

You deserved it 4 972

By frenchienyx - 13/05/2019 00:00

Today, I was in Brooklyn for a meeting. I parked my car but my iPhone didn’t save my location. Where is my car? Called NYPD. No car towed. I had to walk 3 hours in the rain to find it thanks to the “Panic” button. So glad I found my car, but the “Loud Panic” button didn’t want to stop for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 1 983

By luckycharmed - 17/06/2014 17:34 - United States

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 666

You deserved it 4 375

By Anonymous - 24/06/2015 17:41

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 195

You deserved it 2 436

By River - 18/07/2015 04:08 - Oranjestad

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 502

You deserved it 2 778

By timor - 18/12/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 705

You deserved it 4 839

Not quite there yet

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 05:59

Today, I was denied entry into Hong Kong after flying here from Canada and paying thousands of uncancellable dollars for quarantine hotel and other plans, because the immigration company fucked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 10:29 - United States - Palmer

Today, my mom told me she wasn't an alcoholic because she doesn't get "black out drunk" daily. She only gets drunk enough to slur her words and reek of alcohol daily, so it's okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 107

You deserved it 1 443

By jillie minaj - 09/07/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 085

You deserved it 61 047

By SDCore - 12/02/2015 00:40 - United States - Glenview

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 811

You deserved it 39 788

Too good

By hard work doesn't work - 13/03/2015 06:21 - United States - Irving

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I'm too good to be promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 347

You deserved it 3 005

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 229

By Username - 12/11/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 931

You deserved it 2 871

Do you even lift, bro?

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 04:24 - United States

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 544

You deserved it 66 734

By testom - 17/04/2015 18:15 - Netherlands - Rotterdam

Today, my husband accidentally erased some pictures from our hard drive. No worries, nothing major: just everything from our wedding and the birth of our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 624

You deserved it 3 956

By ripped - 11/04/2009 06:10 - Canada

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 63 726

By Anonymous - 09/06/2016 23:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I came home to my wife packing a bag. We had been fighting recently and I understood why she was leaving, but then I noticed she wasn't packing her stuff. She explained that I was the one who was leaving, she was just packing my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 620

You deserved it 2 232

By -__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 116

You deserved it 2 580

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 838

You deserved it 6 049

By it's sharty time :/ - 02/07/2016 18:45 - United States - Bismarck

Today, during an 8 hour shift at a very busy bowling alley, I found out I can't trust a fart anymore. I'm only 25. Now I have to finish my shift commando, and also get rid of the evidence without anyone noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 449

You deserved it 1 749

By Candy - 20/05/2010 12:37 - United States

Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 334

You deserved it 56 481

By Nick - 13/05/2009 22:20 - United States

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 277

You deserved it 37 504

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 043

You deserved it 1 599

By Cammi0 - 02/06/2015 17:58 - United States

Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 855

You deserved it 6 604

By thiswouldonlyhappentome - 31/05/2011 00:33 - Aruba

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 364

You deserved it 4 069

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 06:30 - United States - River Falls

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 3 311

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my Halloween costume finally showed up in the mail. Their consolation for a late delivery? A 50 cent discount. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 005

You deserved it 2 795

By thanks dad - 04/01/2018 19:00

Today, I went bowling with my family. When my brother went up to buy a drink refill, the guy at the counter kindly refilled it for free and told him that he thought I was pretty. My dad laughed and shouted, "Pretty ugly!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 800

You deserved it 410

Nice guy

By Catherine - 13/05/2021 11:01

Today, I announced to my boyfriend of 5 years that I was pregnant. He gave me an ultimatum. Either I "get rid of it" because he’s "not ready to be a dad" or he’ll "put me out on the streets." I’m unemployed and have nowhere to go if I keep it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 312

By al0406 - 22/03/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 249

You deserved it 4 196

By jenA - 21/08/2012 13:04 - United States - Russellville

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 787

You deserved it 2 973

It's all about that D

By MK. - 21/04/2021 02:00

Today, at the age of 22, I found out that Wednesday has another D in it. Literally no one ever corrected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 780

By omgitserika - 18/11/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 947

You deserved it 70 984

By Maxwell - 04/02/2010 10:47 - France

Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 727

You deserved it 16 727

By RawrSparkle - 21/09/2012 07:31 - United States - Davis

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 020

You deserved it 14 276

By Stilljobless - 19/01/2010 11:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 069

You deserved it 39 497

By me - 18/05/2011 04:13

Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 838

You deserved it 6 233

By Anonymous - 06/05/2016 16:55 - United States - Harrisburg

Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 302

You deserved it 1 442

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Top comments

MissMyriah 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:19

obviously it's a bigger deal if a baby falls down the stairs.

Reyo 2

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:22

Depending on how old you are, you need to just get up and walk it off. Unless you got a sprain or a break, which I'm guessing you didn't since you would've mentioned it in the FML, it's more important that you get the hell up walk away from it.

Anon9002 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:18

Sucks to be you...

1800getalife 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 14:14

hockey games are awsome! ....

AngryNinja 1

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 14:45

hockey pwns. sorry op. what a thoughtless asswipe. sucks to b related to that!

thatwouldsuck1 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 17:39

I would probably watch hockey too

MadaZer0 8

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 17:44

Bah... Hockey bites >.> OP: Get him back the American way! Sue his ass... If you can :0

thor89 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 17:53

I would the same except I would kick you in the rib

soccer060 0

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Thursday 11 February 2010 1:09

hockey sucks but I'd still leave you

cowgod 0

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Thursday 11 February 2010 1:11

get a base ball bat and beat his Canadian ass. jk at least u have free health care right?

mlipro 0

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Thursday 11 February 2010 1:38

In Canada, hockey is more important then pain.

BoostaRoosta 0

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Thursday 11 February 2010 5:06

yeee im canadian, we break each others noses and just say sorry. its all gud here

cmac86 23

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Thursday 11 February 2010 9:15

hockey is alright. the best part is when they fight. other than that I could take it or leave it. now football (not soccer) is the best sport!

PeanutButterGir1 0

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Sunday 14 February 2010 4:39

I totally agree with you because I play hockey.

ZleveL 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 9:15

wow 68 you must live in some sissy place like Toronto, here in surrey (Vancouver lower mainland- not England :P) if yoou break someones nose, there is an extremely high chance your house and both your neighbours houses will be the victims of a driveby and if you survive you'll get the shit beaten out if you. no sorry's here, just death. I'm serious. bitch. 

michelleJ11 25

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Monday 19 August 2013 8:02

Hahaha 83, that's just in Surrey & Abbotsford, & maybe Vancouver ;) the rest of the lower mainland is somewhat pure. :P

MissMyriah 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:19

obviously it's a bigger deal if a baby falls down the stairs.

mattf013 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 10:07

well yea but you don't just ignore her you go and help them regardless

glen12 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 12:46

I sence some bias in this story I don't think op is telling us the full story

davidson122 0

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Saturday 3 March 2012 16:20

He can do what he wants

EV34 6

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:19

Dang dat sux, some family u have

sillypiper 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:20

that's what you get for not paying attention. PAY ATTENTION! not a fml btw just plain stupid and I would've done the same thing

Pir8ninja 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 13:00

holy shit your narrow minded. accidents happen!!

Saddrew 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 18:32

sillypiper is a goddamned no good troll who will burn in hell

observesandgasps 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:21

you deserve it for not being your uncles favourite nephew/niece. I mean, obviously you control and alter his feelings towards you. fuck you OP

Reyo 2

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:22

pariah13 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:22

a little uncoordinated are we? we can fix that now, can't we? p.s. OP I would've done the same thing, but laughed first then help you up.

uncleyuggles 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:22

how many stairs was it. it couldn't of hurt that much. I've fallen down a flight of stairs before and only hurt my back a little.

sillypiper 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:22

what does flood protection mean, like when trying to send and fml???

crackiebob 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 10:25

the little smart ass is right hes an douch

treesdevin 0

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:30

well if ur nephew a grown kid or teen falls down the stairs ,obviously they're not gonna be as hurt as a baby...especially if it's ur son...who would u be more concerned for.? really...