Health: Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement....

By Elizabeh - Canada

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31625

You deserved it

3852

Favorite

Health

Dementia or hate? You decide

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Walk on the wild side

By clashgurl8449

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40326

You deserved it

4243

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33347

You deserved it

9505

Favorite

By james88 - United States - Altoona

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13522

You deserved it

37618

Favorite

By Amy (grossed out) - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we ran the Skype call all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43489

You deserved it

6010

Favorite

By Crap - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19738

You deserved it

2917

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36923

You deserved it

10011

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30450

You deserved it

2441

Favorite

By Ford

Today, a child that was born due to my donation to a sperm bank in 1995 contacted me. My current wife, who I met in 2003, is convinced I cheated on her and is filing for a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5562

You deserved it

513

Favorite

By Nanda - Canada - Surrey

Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13330

You deserved it

1134

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/9/2020 05:02 - Germany

Two states of matter

Today, I learned that is it possible to be constipated and have diarrhea at the same time. You run to the toilet every half-hour, but almost nothing comes out and you feel so bloated you could burst, while eating almost nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1273

You deserved it

124

Favorite

By finalfantasy - United States - Aurora

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3735

You deserved it

245

Favorite

By tryingtoberomantic - Australia

Too much of a good thing

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1330

You deserved it

216

Favorite

By sk8rgurl - United States

Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50271

You deserved it

5587

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15904

You deserved it

44757

Favorite

By Kaitlyn Aronson

Today, my coworker spilled sticky fruit glaze all over my cake display cake and left it overnight uncleaned. The same display case I spent 2 hours cleaning the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2464

You deserved it

147

Favorite

By KKimrae_ness - United States

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15429

You deserved it

47172

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41748

You deserved it

8556

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/6/2020 05:05

Baked

Today, I was supposed to have my first job interview for a bakery franchise. Turns out all the applications are submitted to every store, and I was called to the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1305

You deserved it

100

Favorite

By planking champion - United States

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17059

You deserved it

80198

Favorite

By thishasbeenaverytellingnight

Today, I was working in bed when my boyfriend stumbled in, drunk as hell. He got on top of me saying he wanted sex. After a moment, he paused and said, “Sorry, I thought you were Stephen.” I’m a girl. Stephen is my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5352

You deserved it

321

Favorite

By gummy

Today, despite asking her to stop countless times, my stepmom still barges into my room explosively and without warning. I faint when startled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2051

You deserved it

149

Favorite

By awesome

Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60361

You deserved it

4209

Favorite

By Cerezo - Guatemala

Today, as I woke up early to do my physics homework, I heard my parents talk about how big a disappointment I am for them. They discussed how stupid, immature and how big a burden I was. They knew I was listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39841

You deserved it

4549

Favorite

By ZombieLicker - United States

Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26871

You deserved it

7379

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35464

You deserved it

55878

Favorite

By FuckSteakNShake

Today, I was fired, all because I asked my manager for help on the line when we were short staffed and he was on his butt in the office. He said it wasn't his job to help us. Apparently, asking your manager for help when you're busy gets you fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2841

You deserved it

216

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36344

You deserved it

8868

Favorite

By lurna301 - United States - Glendale

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31632

You deserved it

3248

Favorite

By lisahb - United States - Detroit

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35341

You deserved it

3288

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Redlands

Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21056

You deserved it

1240

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33098

You deserved it

3276

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50543

You deserved it

3895

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Ames

Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13381

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1736

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his god-damn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32354

You deserved it

9015

Favorite

By janie - 10/1/2021 17:01

Mind your own business

Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

759

You deserved it

121

Favorite

By fat_thighs - United States

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61282

You deserved it

11791

Favorite

By Forgetable - United States

Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33019

You deserved it

3003

Favorite

By Jason

Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5114

You deserved it

620

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Hampton Hill

Today, I got turned down by my dream job because their rival company happens to be called my exact name. I'm now known as "The Spy". FML

I agree, your life sucks

23976

You deserved it

1498

Favorite

By zaynemaliksvagina - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30294

You deserved it

1872

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By snzizle | 0

#661554 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:25

uh...are u sure it wasn't really a commercial about ass?

By Byah | 2

#661578 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:37

YDI for underestimating the importance of lawn grass (I kid, I kid) :D

COMMENTS

By baby_gurl2405 | 0

#661529 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:16

ouch now thats major grass burn ;-)

Xero3g | 5

#662720 - Monday 9 November 2009 20:02

Hero.

fr33convict | 0

#980185 - Friday 16 April 2010 2:57

YDI for slipping, bitch.

gurlthatwalks | 0

#1023217 - Monday 7 June 2010 23:09

shut up it's not her fault

Izzicasey | 18

#5801078 - Sunday 22 December 2013 7:49

By whatevaaaa | 0

#661536 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:18

what's up with these boyfriend FMLs? they're getting kinda old now.

StaticDown | 0

#661550 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:23

Yeah, far too many and all the same kinda. Yes your boyfriend is a douche and it won't be long before you find a new one and forget all about him, I know you think it's unbelieveable right now but trust me it will happen and you won't believe how you once thought your life was completely fucked over something like this.

By zee209 | 0

#661538 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:19

I can't help but laugh at this FML...

By seanreddog | 4

#661540 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:20

Grass is such a pain in the ass.
I hope he had a blast,
'cause now you're in a cast.

Penetration | 0

#663006 - Monday 9 November 2009 22:55

Epic Win.

By mr_miyagi | 0

#661543 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:21

This wouldnt happen if you had tivo

By snzizle | 0

#661554 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:25

uh...are u sure it wasn't really a commercial about ass?

399 | 41

#6602446 - Tuesday 10 May 2016 23:19

Who knows #8 who knows.

By lenasaur | 0

#661557 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:26

Uhh, no, I believe the OP means she fell down an entire flight of stairs, not just the last 3 stairs or something.

By Byah | 2

#661578 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:37

YDI for underestimating the importance of lawn grass (I kid, I kid) :D

By Flexanimous | 0

#661579 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:37

Maybe the fertilizer kicked ass!

By seanreddog | 4

#661580 - Monday 9 November 2009 2:38

The blue grass seeds that grow anywhere and have a special coating for their own grass ecosystem??? That's the only grass comercial I know of, and it's amazing!