By Anonymous - 18/5/2020 05:00 Water, water, everywhere Today, I learned that taking a shower right before your house starts flooding is the human equivalent to washing your car right before it starts raining. Only much worse. FML I agree, your life sucks 1358 You deserved it 128 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/5/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 30491 You deserved it 2105 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 24/1/2017 16:00 Today, I was rear-ended while heading to my appointment with my physiotherapist. This is the physiotherapist I am seeing to treat the pinched disc I got from being rear-ended 6 months ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 6275 You deserved it 410 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By badbed - 11/12/2009 17:07 - United Kingdom Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 26649 You deserved it 7396 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whoops.. - 16/1/2015 03:15 - United States - Garner Today, I learned that when a man in the row in front of you at a movie theater tells you to shut up, you shouldn't tell him to fuck off. He might be 6'4 with a short temper. FML I agree, your life sucks 15671 You deserved it 49522 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/4/2017 12:00 Today, I learned that when I start University next month I will have to either pay $900 for an all-access semester-long parking pass, pay $200 for for a bus pass that takes an hour to get to campus, or pay $100 to park outside campus and walk 4 miles to and from class each day. FML I agree, your life sucks 4562 You deserved it 582 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohman - 17/7/2009 17:29 - United States Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML I agree, your life sucks 41136 You deserved it 8158 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ksgirl - 12/9/2009 07:39 - United States Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML I agree, your life sucks 48068 You deserved it 4024 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohray - 11/12/2014 16:09 - Turkey - Kibris Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 31388 You deserved it 3094 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - 12/4/2013 17:21 - United States - Roselle Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML I agree, your life sucks 52892 You deserved it 5858 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By actionboy116 - 21/7/2015 06:05 - United States - Saint Paul Today, while working as a cart attendant, I found one of my coworkers on a lawn chair sipping on a Bud light in the parking lot, while we both were supposed to be working, leaving me to push carts by myself. My boss comes out to me catching my breath and tells me to work harder. FML I agree, your life sucks 27344 You deserved it 1954 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jojo - 8/5/2019 16:00 Today, after months of planning, my boyfriend told me he's changed his mind and doesn’t want to move with me to where I got a job. Why? He doesn’t want to live that far away from his mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 1784 You deserved it 244 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fwick - 19/3/2009 04:42 - United States Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 88870 You deserved it 4979 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By preggo - 1/8/2011 01:16 - United States Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML I agree, your life sucks 38223 You deserved it 15614 203 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/1/2012 01:07 - United States Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML I agree, your life sucks 16522 You deserved it 34165 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By verycre8tive - 21/5/2009 07:31 - Romania Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML I agree, your life sucks 55490 You deserved it 2706 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/4/2016 18:26 - United States Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML I agree, your life sucks 14197 You deserved it 1018 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Teenagemum - 13/7/2019 20:30 Today, my father calculated that the only way we can afford to keep the house was if I get pregnant and claim child benefits. My family now won't speak to me because I refuse to do it. I'm 15 years old. FML I agree, your life sucks 2966 You deserved it 90 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/6/2016 05:15 - United States - Bronx Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML I agree, your life sucks 20966 Phew, glad it wasn't me 2847 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ddll - 5/9/2011 01:27 - Singapore Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML I agree, your life sucks 32191 You deserved it 12285 217 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JohnFarrell - 24/4/2009 17:20 - United States Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML I agree, your life sucks 14497 You deserved it 65838 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SM - 30/10/2009 03:35 - United States Today, at work one of my co-worker was oddly nice to me; and my boss, who usually always says hi to me, didn't look or speak to me. Later that day I found out that I was going to be fired, not because my boss told me but because my picture was missing from the wall of employees. FML I agree, your life sucks 30700 You deserved it 2026 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By diapersplease - 7/6/2015 01:17 - United States - Buffalo Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML I agree, your life sucks 28309 You deserved it 2695 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lolzor - 12/3/2009 12:07 - Australia Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML I agree, your life sucks 37423 You deserved it 105868 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/8/2013 05:33 - United States - Romulus Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 40944 You deserved it 8967 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Confused - 23/10/2016 05:05 Today, I woke up 2 hours early to go to the physical therapist my doctor referred me to. She did confirm physical therapy will help, but she doesn't treat my issue. She’s also the only person in my city who takes my insurance. FML I agree, your life sucks 9438 You deserved it 614 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RatQuiRit - 13/10/2008 08:21 Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML I agree, your life sucks 57663 You deserved it 15873 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ChaosFerret - 3/5/2016 20:53 - United States - Eugene Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML I agree, your life sucks 13544 You deserved it 2071 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/5/2015 15:25 Today, my dad got over his aversion to tight pants, giving everyone at the DMV a good look at his package in skin-tight blue jeans. FML I agree, your life sucks 27348 You deserved it 2369 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nannynomore - 10/3/2009 18:52 - United States Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML I agree, your life sucks 63155 You deserved it 3085 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/5/2009 03:04 - United States Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML I agree, your life sucks 26186 You deserved it 245623 496 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sheilob - 24/3/2012 23:06 - Australia - Camden Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML I agree, your life sucks 25497 You deserved it 6271 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/10/2009 19:30 - United States Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML I agree, your life sucks 39151 You deserved it 3265 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/8/2014 08:56 - Malawi Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML I agree, your life sucks 40893 You deserved it 3678 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By asdfasdf - 24/1/2009 15:14 - Canada Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML I agree, your life sucks 44026 You deserved it 5909 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 28/12/2011 08:14 - United States Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML I agree, your life sucks 35335 You deserved it 5146 242 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rayraydayday - 21/3/2015 04:25 - United States - Englewood Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML I agree, your life sucks 31227 You deserved it 10879 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GoFigure - 15/6/2016 13:33 - Germany - Berlin Today, my wedding is scheduled for next week. Today is also the day my whole family had an epic falling out, resulting in my mother disowning my brother. Apart from having them taking turns sobbing at me through the phone, they're also not coming to the wedding. I paid the hotel rooms in advance. FML I agree, your life sucks 16519 You deserved it 1312 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By e - 2/12/2010 09:24 - United States Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML I agree, your life sucks 27347 You deserved it 4291 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML I agree, your life sucks 46961 You deserved it 7208 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Malakai - 2/2/2011 05:57 - United States Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML I agree, your life sucks 48717 You deserved it 8462 224 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I told my husband that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable that I’m the only one to ever initiate intimacy. Not just sex, but also basic... I agree, your life sucks 666 You deserved it 66 7 Comments
Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 977 You deserved it 95 3 Comments
