By Anonymous - 18/5/2020 05:00 Water, water, everywhere Today, I learned that taking a shower right before your house starts flooding is the human equivalent to washing your car right before it starts raining. Only much worse. FML I agree, your life sucks 1375 You deserved it 132 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Southampton Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 59045 You deserved it 7038 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Round Rock Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML I agree, your life sucks 53201 You deserved it 6593 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nightmare Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML I agree, your life sucks 45959 You deserved it 4720 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML I agree, your life sucks 32169 You deserved it 4841 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/3/2021 02:01 Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not Today, I finally told my mom that it hurts me every time she calls me fat. She got offended that I'm offended. Now our whole entire extended family wants me to say sorry to her and them, because apparently they also call me fat behind my back. I'm a size small by the way. FML I agree, your life sucks 1392 You deserved it 79 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By coolchicka05 - United States Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 40815 You deserved it 9722 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hahanosirr - United States Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML I agree, your life sucks 42924 You deserved it 6087 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spekledworf - United States - Wrentham Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML I agree, your life sucks 32373 You deserved it 1991 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/3/2021 15:30 - United States Time to adopt a bunch of cats Today, I burst into tears when my 35 year-old cousin announced on social media she is going to be a grandma. Her 16 year-old son's girlfriend is pregnant. I am 33, single, and have been romantically invisible to everyone my whole life. I'm gonna die alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 981 You deserved it 185 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fax4voice3 - 3/3/2021 11:01 - United States - Greenwich The climate is whack Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML I agree, your life sucks 670 You deserved it 185 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Dallas Fair enough Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said, "I was thinking McDonald's." FML I agree, your life sucks 30199 You deserved it 5124 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By littlekellilee Today, I reached out to an old friend to ask how his battle with cancer is going. He responded by asking for boob pics. FML I agree, your life sucks 3609 You deserved it 351 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chickennbenchpress - Canada Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML I agree, your life sucks 18018 You deserved it 81206 534 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wrongdoor - United States Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML I agree, your life sucks 11448 You deserved it 27867 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By failed - Switzerland Take a chill pill Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML I agree, your life sucks 25024 You deserved it 46123 227 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AlonsoKold - United States - Jackson Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML I agree, your life sucks 47164 You deserved it 5848 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chubbyg - Australia - Clarinda Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML I agree, your life sucks 35256 You deserved it 6436 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Box Hill South Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML I agree, your life sucks 30839 You deserved it 2528 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By markymark - United States Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML I agree, your life sucks 20120 You deserved it 69035 281 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pip - United States Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML I agree, your life sucks 44793 You deserved it 6666 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By roughsexgonewrong - United Kingdom - London Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML I agree, your life sucks 48117 You deserved it 11552 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pinkblankets - United States Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML I agree, your life sucks 49011 You deserved it 29811 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Well then Today, I realised that the only thing that's got fucked since I started uni is my sleep cycle. FML I agree, your life sucks 1914 You deserved it 349 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML I agree, your life sucks 1571 You deserved it 90 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crazy cat lady - Canada - Winnipeg Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML I agree, your life sucks 30801 You deserved it 3614 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gottacatchemall - United States Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 66689 You deserved it 28912 329 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gimmeasalad - United States - Walnut Creek Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 10117 You deserved it 36781 229 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By give me an F - United Kingdom - Corby Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML I agree, your life sucks 45631 You deserved it 37416 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymouss - United States Today, I was informed, after being broken up with, that my girlfriend's father only set her up with me so that she would have more motivation to shower on a regular basis. He actually yelled at me for being broken up with. FML I agree, your life sucks 26339 You deserved it 1960 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MisterSeth - United States Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML I agree, your life sucks 32844 You deserved it 79324 430 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheBeastSwaq - United States Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 33729 You deserved it 2612 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Abandoned - United States Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 30781 You deserved it 2440 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my mom and I had to shovel our driveway after an epic snowstorm that left us with 22 inches of snow. We only needed to dig out my mom's car and not mine. After we did all that work and shoveled all the snow onto the side where my car was we found out my mom had a flat tire. FML I agree, your life sucks 27880 You deserved it 3324 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oof - 9/7/2020 23:01 Boom, headshot Today, my fiancé and I were discussing whether we should have a gun in the house or not. He argued that I’m too clumsy to have one. Offended, I turned around to storm off. I hit my forehead on the cabinet I'd left open and immediately started gushing blood. Point proved. FML I agree, your life sucks 1049 You deserved it 1658 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mel Ancholy - United States Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML I agree, your life sucks 35249 You deserved it 8162 258 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By demaris - Canada Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML I agree, your life sucks 29226 You deserved it 6023 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By canwesayfail - United States - Gloucester Today, the only part of my Psychology final that I was 100% confident in was my name. FML I agree, your life sucks 11433 You deserved it 3130 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML I agree, your life sucks 9612 You deserved it 30252 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Iwtumn - Austria - Deutschlandsberg Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML I agree, your life sucks 32951 You deserved it 7152 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bwberry Today, I spent hours hand-painting an awesome design on a gift for a friend. My husband was supposed to assemble it when I finished, but when I stepped back to admire my work, he informed me that the whole thing was sideways. He watched me paint it. FML I agree, your life sucks 3181 You deserved it 428 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, my sausage dog ate my cat's turds and barfed them all over my bed. Try convincing the girl you just brought home to get into bed after that. FML I agree, your life sucks 166 You deserved it 65 3 Comments
Today, I caught my husband setting up an affair with my old school-friend. I have chronic pain, a hormone imbalance and some other issues that means I'm... I agree, your life sucks 652 You deserved it 89 2 Comments
