Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
It just goes to show that Freud was right: Subconciously, dicks are always on your mind.
lilhellian 27
Cum on op, he was just trying to lighten the mood. :)
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Comments (76)
onorexveritas 24
I tip my hat to that man
Cowsxgoxmoo78 8
Let's be honest here op. If someone said that this had happened to them and not you.... You'd laugh. Kinda sucks but definitely chuckle worthy
Enslaved 38
Maybe it was a female that drew it. That's one reason I carry my lipstick with me at all times. You never know when the penis drawing monster may emerge from within.
perdix 31
#35, that's why I play DrawSomething!
Enslaved 38
Damn you! I thought those were Éclairs! I've even gotten hungry thinking about its creamed filling.:P Sorry if the Candy Crush craze gives you penis drawing withdraws.
Drifting 21
Awe you gotta laugh, that is one of the most harmless things someone could have done to while passed out. Just laugh.
Samafilbeit 11
Sorry OP, FYL indeed, but I can't front, I laughed. But I am glad that it was just a drawing of a penis on your head and not...well I've heard some horror stories!
DenBriZel 31
Aww that sucks... Poor guy
Zebediabolical 45
A friend of mine passed out on his front walkway staggering home form the bar. He woke up with no shoes, no pants, no watch no wallet. His laptop was also gone from inside the unlocked house. His keys were inside, but he rekeyed everything anyway cuz he's that kind of paranoid. Consider yourself lucky that's all he did OP
cna1216 15
Do you have a condition? Or do just do that to get a guys junk on your head?
corleon198425 22
i was that EMT
Zebediabolical 45
NO I AM SPARTAC... I mean... I was that EMT!
LyraAlluse 25
Don't worry, you can always get revenge on the EMT and the random bystander by hunting them down and then doodling all over their faces while they are sleeping like Jigglypuff.