By Anonymous - 02/12/2014 03:14 - United States - Anchorage
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@45 - No, not at all. In high school, I would cheat on girls I dated, no matter how beautiful or fun they were, because I had low self esteem and was out to prove I was desirable. After I graduated, I became more comfortable with myself since I started to look and feel older. Now that I'm more mature, I realize I hurt people unnecessarily. Some people slip up, others need help. It's not a black and white situation. tl;dr, people can change, although some don't want to.
Op, I'm not going to say whether you should forgive him and continue to try and move forward with him, or whether you should just leave him. Only you know what is best for you and what you can personally handle. My only advice is to think hard about whether you think he is actually trying to fix things and whether you believe he has changed. Despite the saying, I believe that if a person cheats once it doesn't mean they will continue to cheat. I believe people can change, but only you and your husband will know if he actually has. Either way I'm sorry this happened and really do wish you the best in whatever road you follow as neither of them will be easy. We're rooting for you op!
Baloney. I have 2 friends that have been married for 30 years. I know they both made mistakes but their marriage has been 'mistake' free for more than 20. People are capable of change. And it's crazy to expect 2 people you don't know, nor their situation with each other to quit on generalizations. I'm tired of people thinking marriage is as disposable as a carton of milk. Commitment means sacrifice.
You don't always forget, but that's doesn't mean you can't forgive. Forgetting isn't necessary in order to forgive someone. I'm not saying that op should (or shouldn't) forgive her husband, only she can really make that call and knows if he's actually changed or not, I'm just saying that those two words aren't dependant on the other. I bet most of the things we've forgiven people for (even though they're on a smaller scale than op's issue) probably haven't been forgotten.
I'm so sorry OP but I think in certain situations as ones like these which involve your significant other cheating on you, you just have to let him go. There's another man out there for you :)
Damn op, you deserve much better