Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, a barbecue joint opened near my apartment, close enough that I can smell the kitchen exhaust. I'm a vegan activist, so smelling animals being burned is a serious trauma for me. Now I either have to either move or constantly feel sick and depressed. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I have to pretend to be vegan for a week while visiting my in-laws to avoid eating there. While they are absolutely wonderful, kind, loving people, their kitchen is absolutely disgusting, and their food handling habits are atrocious. I’m so hungry. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML
Today, I fed my husband a vegan beef burger so I could show him that it tastes exactly the same when he didn’t notice. He noticed on the first bite and spat it across the kitchen because he thought the meat had expired before I cooked it, and tasted disgusting. FML
Today, my boyfriend spent half his paycheck on gourmet steaks, bacon, and all sorts of other meat. When I reminded him we were trying to go meatless to help the planet, he said, "Yeah, I'm done with that. The planet can burn." We'd only been vegan three days. FML
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Top comments
fortehlulocaust 6
PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals
hitmanoo 16
That's because vegetarian isn't a natural human condition. It's a learned social habit.
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Comments (122)
cherryllollo 7
I love animals. I love the way they look, act and taste. eating domestic animals would be weird though.
RawrNom 0
why? they're just animals. they don't have feelings obviously, or we wouldn't kill cows. so it's okay to slaughter a pig, when it's been proven that they are highly intelligent? when they learn to sit and roll over like a dog? they can live happily with humans, but it's okay, we can kill them and eat them because it's not a cat or dog. all animals are equal. we should care about an animal like we would a child. I'm just gonna go lock my dog in a tiny cage with other dogs, then cut her up and eat her! because that's so humane.
McAninch35 9
Your body is always going to crave meat. It's natural. Animals eat other animals, I don't get why people think it isn't natural for us to do the same.
Shrike 24
huh? who's saying it's not natural to eat meat? you really don't get the usual reason for going vegetarian/vegan, do you? I'm neither, but still, grow up you trolls
FYLDeep 26
No one's saying it's not natural to eat meat. What he was saying is that it wouldn't be natural to not have cravings to eat meat. Although, I'm sure some people in fact actually don't have cravings to eat meat, I think they would make up a small percentage of the people who actually eat a vegetarian diet.
Shrike 24
I can see a load of problems with that comment, and not just the stupid anti-vegan trolling in it. humans were "meant" to breed too, but are you gonna rape some person in the street cause they're hot and your body gets a boner in preparation for ******* them? then again maybe you would cause you have no self control
LadyLol_fml 15
I was a veggie for three years, and them a bacon sandwich got in the way ;)
flockz 20
so what kind of vegetable were you? Lettuce know peas? don't beet around the bush either. i've waited so long for another fellow vegetable to turnip.
flockz 20
and if you don't tell me soon i am going to send you to my leeky celery and you shallot come back up until you tell me what you nopal.
Peach3 1
Whether you're vegan or not, steak smells GOOD. There's no denying it.
J3R3MYY 14
Go to McDonalds, technically not meat but suprisingly good.
herc71 5
That is a sign from your body that you need to eat protein. Go ahead have a steak, it doesn't make you a bad person.
Dreadful87 4
Dear OP, you shouldn't feel bad. You're just human, what's wrong with succumbing to the human impulse to eat when you're hungry? It's for survival. When we're hungry, we want to eat. It's a principle of loving all things living that makes you a vegan. If you adhere to your principle and did not eat the steak, there's nothing wrong with what happened. :)
rustytromboney 3
Like it or not we as a species are omnivores.
TheReaper6282 0
So, do you wear leather, or own a car with leather seats?... Humans are Omnivores. That means we eat meat and veggies. Don't fight the feeling.