Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, a barbecue joint opened near my apartment, close enough that I can smell the kitchen exhaust. I'm a vegan activist, so smelling animals being burned is a serious trauma for me. Now I either have to either move or constantly feel sick and depressed. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I have to pretend to be vegan for a week while visiting my in-laws to avoid eating there. While they are absolutely wonderful, kind, loving people, their kitchen is absolutely disgusting, and their food handling habits are atrocious. I’m so hungry. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML
Today, I fed my husband a vegan beef burger so I could show him that it tastes exactly the same when he didn’t notice. He noticed on the first bite and spat it across the kitchen because he thought the meat had expired before I cooked it, and tasted disgusting. FML
Today, my boyfriend spent half his paycheck on gourmet steaks, bacon, and all sorts of other meat. When I reminded him we were trying to go meatless to help the planet, he said, "Yeah, I'm done with that. The planet can burn." We'd only been vegan three days. FML
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Top comments
fortehlulocaust 6
PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals
hitmanoo 16
That's because vegetarian isn't a natural human condition. It's a learned social habit.
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Comments (122)
Meme1988 18
:( hard, i tried it once, i only lasted two days
noel_ani 0
That's not necessarily a bad thing. Haha I used to be a vegetarian but I switched. I still don't eat pork but I'm glad with my decision(:
errantv 3
Hypocrite
IntoTheClouds 42
Eat Tasty Animals. : )
imagineapc 11
Tasty, tasty meat. Steak mid-rare = the ****.
Petunia888 13
"My mind's telling me no, But my body, my body's telling me yeeesss!" I get cravings like that, too, but it's mind over matter. I feel better when I don't eat that stuff.
fortehlulocaust 6
You must have obviously never had a decent steak!
rattusrattus 19
Some people do react funny to red meat. Chicken's generally a good all-rounder though. I love beef.
gottageek 17
Your body isn't confused, you may be able to rewire your brain but nature designed your body for meat-based protein.
DeathBunny218 37
You definitely don't deserve this. Unfortunately you won't be able to control how you feel about "burning flesh," but it makes it even more impressive if you manage to stay vegan (:
izzy001 0
We are by nature carnivores and I agree best way to get natural protein. After all that's why god gave us teeth. To tear apart meat ... Yummy as long as it's not cannibalism lol
Zomg_Okay 27
No, 24. We aren't carnivores, we are omnivores. We're supposed to eat both meat and plant matter.
Dreadful87 4
Technically, our teeth aren't really made to eat meat (besides our front incisors). Most of our teeth are flat, like those of herbivorous animals, to chew greens.
RawrNom 0
plus, dogs were carnivores but humans made them omnivores to help keep things cheap. I'm pretty sure with today's science, we could all live without eating meat. we just had to try it. and yeah, as an animal management student, both above comments are correct. if we were carnivores we wouldn't sell fruit and veg!
ssgsmith777 1
Where's this rule book on what we are supposed to eat?
Zomg_Okay 27
In your mouth, 81. We have canines to tear meat and molars to grind plant matter. If we were natural vegetarians we wouldn't have those canines. As such, it's a safe bet we are built to eat both.
SiriusBlack97 17
DELICIOUSSS!!!
StromyG2 10
Your body is doing what it's wired to do. Don't fight the feeling.
underdose 9
Hat people dont understand is that not eating animals is a choice to rise above carnal instinct. It is okay so think it smells good what makes you a vegan is to think beyond your instinctual cravings and choose not to eat meat
Petunia888 13
Exactly!
FYLDeep 26
Damn vegans and their hats!