Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, a barbecue joint opened near my apartment, close enough that I can smell the kitchen exhaust. I'm a vegan activist, so smelling animals being burned is a serious trauma for me. Now I either have to either move or constantly feel sick and depressed. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I have to pretend to be vegan for a week while visiting my in-laws to avoid eating there. While they are absolutely wonderful, kind, loving people, their kitchen is absolutely disgusting, and their food handling habits are atrocious. I’m so hungry. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML
Today, I fed my husband a vegan beef burger so I could show him that it tastes exactly the same when he didn’t notice. He noticed on the first bite and spat it across the kitchen because he thought the meat had expired before I cooked it, and tasted disgusting. FML
Today, my boyfriend spent half his paycheck on gourmet steaks, bacon, and all sorts of other meat. When I reminded him we were trying to go meatless to help the planet, he said, "Yeah, I'm done with that. The planet can burn." We'd only been vegan three days. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fortehlulocaust 6
PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals
hitmanoo 16
That's because vegetarian isn't a natural human condition. It's a learned social habit.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (122)
fogrunner 13
So? My body thinks it should have bucketloads of fat and sugar. I don't give it everything it asks for. >:D PS. I'm a vegan too! :)
stephanieeDawnx 0
Actually flesh is skin. In some cases, your body would crave burning flesh, like I'd you were to go by KFC, but in a steakhouse, they cook the meat. Not the flesh. Just saying. (:
MarioDragon 14
Your body doesn't care, it just likes food. It's what "morals" you put into your head that stop you from eating it. Oh there are so many reasons why I will always be a meat eater.
Rick_S 3
With all due respect to you lifestyle choice, your body craves meat because your body was either created, or evolved, to crave meat, depending on your religious point of view. I can totally see how that would suck for you, however, being a vegan. It would totally suck for me to drive past a place like that, smell that delicious aroma, and go home to my microwaved dinner, too. So, in a way, I feel for you.
aurynforever 14
:(
nerdsgetmehot 23
You're probably just craving protein and iron, which you can get from other foods.
boobookity691 0
That's because we were born meat eaters don't fight it
Born_And_Raised 1
Sucks to be you.
Polo826 0
I silly ****
womblebat 2
Your body isn't confused, you are. You're a fricken carnivore, what do you expect?
Herboski1315 0
Even celerey screams when you rip it from the ground.