Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML
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Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML
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Top comments
Awesomeaxel 24
just apologize and explain the dream. i mean she will probably still be irritated but at least she knows you didnt do it for fun.
Queen_bee1234 21
kinky.
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Comments (61)
HeadlessSparrow 20
Well hope she believes you when you explain it to her! But I got an idea for you! next time you role play, she can be the alligator and you can be the alligator hunter, or something like that!
VonBlitzkrieg 27
Jesus dude, I've heard of people doing crazy shit in their sleep, but God damn.
foxwasalamb 24
my ex-boyfriend did something similar. if anybody woke him up, he would instantly go to survival mode and almost break their neck. he almost did it to both me and my dog a few times. it was kinda scary
Queen_bee1234 21
They see me rollin' they hatin'. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
RedPillSucks 33
Does she have really dry/cracked skin?
BFons 19
Is Wayne Brady going to have to choke a bitch?
ironhead_fml 20
Gotta quit watching the late night Discovery channel.
Journiexo 18
Death spin!
sincerelystc 10
Lmao. Wow, my boyfriend did the same to me. He had a dream I was flirting with lil Wayne, so he started fighting with him in his dream. I woke up to him choking me. But he quickly woke up when he did it. Lol. I didn't get angry, I knew he wouldn't put his hands on me like that ever.
dabomb0513 10
It's not cool to make sht up like this.
allisurd 17
That would be a terribly disorienting way to wake up. I'm sure if you explain to her you thought she was an alligator, she'd totally understand.