Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML
Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I overheard coworkers talking about someone showing up with lettuce or something in their teeth. I laughed and joked it “could never be me.” Later, in the bathroom mirror, I discovered I’d had the same exact green blob stuck between my front teeth for hours. FML
Today, I decided to pick up some breath mints. As I was checking out, the cashier informed me that if I was "planning on getting a girl to stay the night", I'd need the "stronger, more intense brand of mints". FML
Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose. FML
Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
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Top comments
glorbnakcs 0
You completely deserved that for not checking to see what it was that you were actually putting in your mouth.
cardinallove 11
How did you finally figure that out? When you bothered to read the package? It should have been made obvious at least within the first couple of days when you kept having to shit... YDI
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Comments (55)
blastvortex 4
Yeah, some candy does that, especially ones that use artificial sweeteners (including extracts, which technically qualify). Of course, that could be averted by knowing what you're eating before you eat it.
apemaverick07 0
who the **** mistakes laxitives for mints? I think that's lifes way of saying you are ******* stupid and should no longer be living and taking air away from valuable assets to society...that's all lol
juicerr 0
hahahaha @ #1.
alex1432 9
this is from House
GlaoigharAirm 0
What the **** does circular taste like?!
bibobobonnor 8
#70 she means the laxative is circular and it's flavoured she doesn't mean the flavour is circular
lidomissmango 0
what's a laxative?
Igor_g5 0
Are you retarded?
joshua7 0
did the part where you shit your pants not give you a big enough hint?
vinhton4554 1
Do you swallow your mints?
jyd62 0
damn it took a week!!