Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom and I had to shovel our driveway after an epic snowstorm that left us with 22 inches of snow. We only needed to dig out my mom's car and not mine. After we did all that work and shoveled all the snow onto the side where my car was we found out my mom had a flat tire. FML
Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, "Wow, is this really the best you can do?" FML
Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML
Today, my mom showed up to the surprise party my sister planned for me on crutches. Car accident? Bad fall? Dog attack? Nope! She's fine, just a malignant narcissist who needed all the attention to be on her. She managed to “fall” several times suspiciously when we were posing for photos. FML
Today, my mom and I were running late for school, and she got pretty stuck in the snow so she asked me to dig her out. Then she ran over my foot. As I got into the car and blamed her for what she'd done, she shouted at me that she couldn't care less, and that we had to hurry. FML
Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML
Today, our dog became ill. My mom wasted no time attending her every needs and became very distressed. When I had appendicitis a few months ago, my mom told me to “sleep it off” and a friend had to take me to the hospital. She only called once to bitch at me for “doing this on purpose to make her feel bad.” FML
Today, my mother-in-law scheduled her neck surgery for the same day our baby is being born. She also fully expects my husband to drive her to the hospital and stay for her recovery. Uh, yeah no. FML
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Top comments
Nightwing98 22
Damn, that's a lot of planning just to be lazy. I'm pretty sure it's counter-productive.
perdix 31
Your mom is very industrious -- she had to combine the skills of a meteorologist, an orthopedist and an actress to pull off this trick. And what the **** kind of son are you? Why aren't you shoveling Momma's snow? She pushed your big, bulbous head through her ****** -- you owe her big time!
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Comments (85)
Mopmob02 18
I can't even call that being lazy, that is more like good planning, timing and execution. For that performance I, after shoveling and salting, I would buy my mother dinner. Bravo and well done OPs mother.
watchitgo 4
Why wouldn't you just shovel it
fatlemonjefferso 8
Get off your butt you whiny, lazy-ass son and shovel the snow yourself. You should be ashamed that you're looking for sympathy here.
PartyChick55 13
That's when you accidentally fall down the stairs and sprain your leg. Then she'll have to do the shoveling next time when her so called "neck injury" has healed.
NOACCEPTANCE772 21
Come on, cut your mom some slack. I am not trying to be rude, but, she carried you around for 9 months, her bladder shrank to the size of a grape, she was gutted like a thanksgiving turkey, she had to take care of you for all your life, she deserves some lazy time, ya know. ;)
bridgetv25 8
I'm going with the mom on this it's sad she has such a lazy child that she has to fake an injury to get some help around the house!
sythe511 28
If you're a male under 30, shut up and quit whining. I'm nearly 18 and I shovel our driveway, sidewalks etc
fmlformyeveryday 3
Hmmmm... I'm reading all of these comments about how OP is lazy and that he should be doing more work. So tell me, if the mother fakes an injury to get her son to do work, who says that the son never does work in the first place? I always do my work around the house but my mom would be ashamed of herself if she did something like this. The whole point of a functional family is that everybody does their fair share. So OP, your mom sounds like an asshole to me.
SnoochBoochie 14
You shouldn't need your moms helo to shovel.
SnoochBoochie 14
Although a helo would make quick work, you shouldn't need her help of any kind. Plus her helo would piss off the neighbors. ;)