Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom and I had to shovel our driveway after an epic snowstorm that left us with 22 inches of snow. We only needed to dig out my mom's car and not mine. After we did all that work and shoveled all the snow onto the side where my car was we found out my mom had a flat tire. FML
Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, "Wow, is this really the best you can do?" FML
Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML
Today, my mom showed up to the surprise party my sister planned for me on crutches. Car accident? Bad fall? Dog attack? Nope! She's fine, just a malignant narcissist who needed all the attention to be on her. She managed to “fall” several times suspiciously when we were posing for photos. FML
Today, my mom and I were running late for school, and she got pretty stuck in the snow so she asked me to dig her out. Then she ran over my foot. As I got into the car and blamed her for what she'd done, she shouted at me that she couldn't care less, and that we had to hurry. FML
Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML
Today, our dog became ill. My mom wasted no time attending her every needs and became very distressed. When I had appendicitis a few months ago, my mom told me to “sleep it off” and a friend had to take me to the hospital. She only called once to bitch at me for “doing this on purpose to make her feel bad.” FML
Today, my mother-in-law scheduled her neck surgery for the same day our baby is being born. She also fully expects my husband to drive her to the hospital and stay for her recovery. Uh, yeah no. FML
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Top comments
Nightwing98 22
Damn, that's a lot of planning just to be lazy. I'm pretty sure it's counter-productive.
perdix 31
Your mom is very industrious -- she had to combine the skills of a meteorologist, an orthopedist and an actress to pull off this trick. And what the **** kind of son are you? Why aren't you shoveling Momma's snow? She pushed your big, bulbous head through her ****** -- you owe her big time!
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Comments (85)
hanymandy 6
Haha that's awesome.
crazytwinsmom 25
Maybe OP blew her off last time she asked him. We don't know the history.
gc327072 31
'cause ya know, theme parks are open when it's snowing.
alexafml 5
I'm a girl and if we got off school and my parents had to go to work, in middle/high school they would expect me to clean the steps and driveway while they were at work. Sure, it was annoying, but I respected my parents and enjoyed helping them. You should adopt a similar attitude, being a parent is hard.
alwayswinning123 7
Good for her, you shouldn't make your Mom shovel!
possy 19
Haha, I have heard of planned sick days, but planning lazy days! That's a new one. She's clearly the planner in the family!
zilla52 12
ydi your mom shouldn't have to act hurt for you to help her out
vbmg152 19
Your Mom shouldn't have to shovel snow! Are your arms broken? You're the lazy one. BTW, I'm in VA and we have zero snow.
uhnevermind 24
If you live in Virginia, then you don't know how terrible it is to shovel snow. Someone intentionally hurting themselves to avoid it, that should be a clue though. Making someone else shovel snow because you're being lazy is one of the worst offenses a person can commit. :I
vbmg152 19
I know exactly what it's like to shovel snow! I live in VA, I'm from FL but I've lived all over! My hubby was military for 25 yrs. this is not the only place I've ever lived! OP said they're in VA, I only commented that there's no snow here where I live! Know what you're talking about if you're gonna be a smart aleck especially to someone old enough to be your Grandma!
thomasday 7
Just shovel the snow for your mom, it's the least you can do
mkcherry 14
Children are your responsibility not your work force or some kind of free labor. I did stuff for my parents all the time but if it was something such as raking leaves or hard manual labor, my parents did that themselves as it is a part of HOME OWNERSHIP, actually they paid someone to do it. Granted I was sickly as a child but I did help my mom garden when I could, I doubt i would have bothered to help her at all if she insisted on sitting on her ass while getting other people to do the work for her. Your mom seems selfish and lazy and if she is able bodied there is no reason why you should do all of the shoveling. Being older than you (I'm assuming she isn't elderly) or being a woman are not excuses.
Zebediabolical 45
I have to disagree. Children are a workforce. I was raised on a farm in Eastern Canada, and from the time I was five I was on the 'payroll'. I didn't get an 'allowance' like the other kids, I got 'paid. If I didn't do my assigned chores, I didn't get 'paid'. Yeah, I know it sounds like an allowance, but get this: It built a work ethic that's stuck to this day. Money don't come for free. Your parents raised you and fed you for close to two decades, the least you can do is some work around the house for them.