Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML
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Top comments
luvppl 6
Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)
WCARlover 35
More like a conversation ender...
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Comments (179)
anencephalic 14
It could have been worse, he could've called you Billy.
alejandratx 8
Lmaooo
Glitch333 0
I bet one's Bob. Everyone likes Bob. Or Jeff :D
madibrielle212 0
Now you will ace the tests about it(:
ninjaCarebear 17
And today I survived Bowl Movement Tim
20jetsgo 3
#jetsgo
BigStackPoker 0
I read this and immediately looked for the "like" button.
20jetsgo 3
Be over it
knightro 6
at least he only named them and did not leave them there for you to name!
CBankhead93 0
We would send pictures of ours to are football coach:D
decidedlyvague 11
hey, just so you know. Rickety Spilt will be coming out my Jiffy.