By damn - 09/04/2014 21:12 - United States - Kenton

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 404
You deserved it 7 991

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Talk shit, get laid.

You win some, you lose some.


You win some, you lose some.

Was there really any competition? I mean that guy has a great digestive system!!!

And...what did OP win, exactly?

Not screwing a girl who finds "really healthy shits" attractive. Or maybe OP is into that kind of stuff.

Perhaps said girl is a nutritionist.

my thoughts exactly, dating people in the medical field is bound to bring out weird quirks and fetishes.

She's a maker of probiotics, 'nuff said.

#51, are you saying that if someone works in a morgue they are likely to have a necrophilia fetish?

That's one of the weirder things I've seen today.

thanks to the internet though not the wierdest

"I think it's time for the next step in our relationship. . want you to poop on me" o.O

Talk shit, get laid.

I think you're a very rude person and you probably have no friends too!!! My turn?

No wonder I don't have a girlfriend...

It was a play on words. A joke. Relax.

"Hey ladies.. I had TWO bowel movements yesterday. Pretty sexy, right? I know."

this is generating so much false hope it's hilarious

This not where I wanted this comment to be.

This made my day.

wait... what is this FML about...? i honestly dont understand it.

Yeah that first sentence is really throwing me off

It confused me too. I think he meant to say "that he has" instead of "that has."

I guess so too because it was changed. O.o why would he add the last part though? is it really relevant? lol

Guy makes a creepy remark to the girl. OP wants to make fun of him for blowing his chance at sleeping with her by being so weird, but the girl sleeps with him anyway. "Even he can get a girl, but I can't." What's not to get?

The first sentence had poor grammar before it was corrected, so it was hard to understand.

It was only missing one word. Be fair: it's hard for the OP to type properly one-handed.

#32 I really wish I could like your comment right now.

oh! i kept reading it as "laid off", so i kept thinking she fired him. i see my mistake now

that's what I got from it.. hahaha

His shit don't stank

He must be using poo pourii.

"I have healthy bowels" "Omg I love healthy bowels. My place ;)" Kinda like that?

I'm not sure why but I laughed a little too hard at that potential exchange.

You forgot "bow chicka wow wow!"

Well that's depressing...

Your digestive system (and its waste products) would be such a weird thing to talk about to a girlfriend. Definitely not my first topic of choice.

Wasn't even a girlfriend so even weirder as an opener, unless she's into the whole 2girls1cup thing....

Not your day, try again tomorrow.

Huh, I guess I've been doing it all wrong.