Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I had a stomach bug and had to run to the restroom because I messed my pants. My boyfriend's words of comfort? "Don't worry, bro. I've crapped my pants at least twice since we've been together." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
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Top comments
nicknesser 0
Hey maybe he's into that shit.
Wuhuh 0
At least he can take shit from you.
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Comments (52)
indiecolor 0
that happened to me it sucked.
GavinRoskamp 0
YDI for calling them trousers. Get out of the 1700's already.
Rocksygen 0
She's from the UK and they call them trousers there. Get out of that ignorance field.
devileyekill 0
I visited the UK a while back and it was like going back 10 years. Either they are behind America in fasion or they were going through some retro phase. Either way it was fun.
Bagel09 11
maybe America went back in time.
MzKylz 0
just go have a shower and chuck your pants in the bin on the way lol.
RyNo24 4
girls don't poop...
BoCo_fml 9
Be happy that this didn't happen at his place. Get in the shower, clean up and stop whining. If you feel too awful for company just send him home. I don't see what the problem is. Unless he doesn't live that close to you and you don't see eachother often, then that's just shitty indeed!
relyo 0
Don't worry. He won't be your boyfriend for much longer.
mytralala_fml 7
that happened to me. minus the bf. cause im forever alone.
ladybuuggy 0
At least you have someone to take care of you! Just don't puke on him and I'm sure he'll help out
shaniqualee 2
If I were you're boyfriend, I would take one look at you and your shitty pants and say, "Ok so...let's do anal right now" and I would pound you in the butt, but it would help you vomit more.
SayPeanuts 29
You failed at being funny.
sallen0046 4
You could have easily asked your boyfriend to leave so that you could be sick in peace. Men understand the need to be sick alone. It's your home - throw your clothes in the washer and get in the shower. It's unpleasant, but happens to nearly everyone at some point. You just clean yourself up and get on with things.