Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I had a stomach bug and had to run to the restroom because I messed my pants. My boyfriend's words of comfort? "Don't worry, bro. I've crapped my pants at least twice since we've been together." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
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Top comments
nicknesser 0
Hey maybe he's into that shit.
Wuhuh 0
At least he can take shit from you.
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Comments (52)
Bubblerider 3
heh heh...trousers...
annigotammo 1
did you know if you vomit hard enough, you can vomit your own poop?
aaronfuegopop 7
haha. trousers.
niglet11 0
I did that twice while I had stomach flu
_k_a_r_e_n_ 9
if your boyfriend is staying over at your place, what's the problem? You probably have access to a shower and clean underpants! feel better!
yorik_brown 0
I love the comments that are telling the poster to toughen up. Like they crap themselves daily and can't understand why that would be traumatic.
Buggi_fml 0
So? Youre sick why the hell do you care. Sick people have free passes when shit like this happens... No pun intended!
Alaskarocks 0
Obviously he wants to be there for and be a good bf.
HAHA1320 2
I knew you were British.
poohappens26 0
Dang that sucks... Been there! Food poison was a bitchh but thankfully my husband had it too so there was nothing he could laugh about.