Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on the lowest volume possible. My girlfriend woke me up by turning the volume all the way up. I still can't hear out of both ears. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML
Today, after I accidentally put my headphones through the washing machine and then drying them out, they somehow still worked, but only in one ear. I was about to accept my fate when the other side suddenly started playing audio at full volume during a quiet train ride. FML
Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML
Today, my mother is snoring so loud that I can still hear her with the door shut and with earplugs in. So much for sleep. FML
Today, I found out my mother only uses two settings for volume on her laptop: maximum volume or completely quiet. She'll play it over whatever other people are doing, and then get mad when they tell her to turn it down. FML
Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 a.m. by my roommates throwing a party down the hall. I put some earplugs in so I could get some rest for my 8 a.m final. They worked really well, so well in fact that I didn't hear my alarm and woke up at noon. FML
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Top comments
thinmint 0
iPods doooo go that loud. mine does atleast... that was a bitch move from the gf.
Yarrachel 16
We're all completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
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Comments (145)
honeybeezy 0
pretty messed up but not the end of the world
oldwiseguy 0
test
themanplan 0
you are such a ******* loser...... it is people like you that bother to submit fml's lik this that are making this website total shit.... i find it hard to believe that you cant take a ******* practical joke when people have actual stories that deserve to be on that dont make it. and its only metal music that wud genuinely shock some1 enough to put it as an fml renders it totally useless coz u claerly dont fag
IndigoFuckYou 9
Dude, it's people who use idiotic text language like "some1" or "wud" that make the site bad. His FML doesn't suck, it would freak me out of i woke up that way too.
teamwork 0
just remember.. you can always get back at her by stabbing her in the throat.
CoolHipDude 0
Shove an electric cattle prod up her pussy and see how she likes it!!!
LifeFucksUsAll 0
Thank you for that mental image. I'm going to go scoop out my brain with a spoon now.
jonny2x4 0
YDI for having such a passive-aggressive girlfriend.
oldwiseguy 0
Hearing loss is not an all or nothing situation. You end up losing certain frequencies which makes it hard to understand people talking and you have to turn up the TV real loud and you still can't understand the dialog. You then need a very expensive hearing aid that amplifies only the frequencies you need. I don't get why you kids think it's a joke, you wouldn't throw acid in someones eyes, well the ears are very sensitive and easily damaged.
convectuoso88 0
This is either fake or your a pussy. Stop whining pussy.
Debrad1207 0
I'd break up with her.
BadOwner 0
#40 STFU u don't know anything