Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML
Today, I went to a neon-themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
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Top comments
Natasha14641 7
You should've used the name Bloody Mary instead, OP.
misspulkadot24 17
Was it a costume party? Because, that's a pretty damn original outfit. Rock it! Get the string from a balloon to get the whole effect.
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Comments (103)
watchme 11
How old is he?
taka805 10
That's great!!!! He's a creative little guy...
KayBeeFFFixed 5
I wouldn't say your life is ruined because of this.. If you think so, you may want to lay off MTV for a while. But yeah, your brother is a bit of a brat, albeit a somewhat creative one.
crystalnight 19
I don't think you get the point of this website.
CharresBarkrey 15
That's why the site's called MLIR right? I mean, if it wasn't so serious it would be called like FML or something...
Morqan_Freeman 14
For some reason I pictured a short bald stocky guy getting tomato sauce poured on them dressed in white. Then I laughed
Smartdumbblonde 27
I just now imagined that lol
willou35_fml 13
haha
StanSmith2013 26
What a lad!
TADspace 30
Hope you kicked his ass to the party and back.
simoncat 11
Well good. The tomato juice will be the perfect cover for the bloodstains obtained, murdering your little brother. PS- he sounds like he's learned his behaviors watching the antics of the youngest children on sitcoms. He sounds like an insufferable brat.
astilly7898 3
How old is he?
Pixiemels 19
FYL, but that was extremely funny!