Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML
Today, I went to a neon-themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
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Top comments
Natasha14641 7
You should've used the name Bloody Mary instead, OP.
misspulkadot24 17
Was it a costume party? Because, that's a pretty damn original outfit. Rock it! Get the string from a balloon to get the whole effect.
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Comments (103)
yourmofo 6
Then you should break his nose and say he looks like a bleeding pussy.
calliet145 14
I immediately thought of the period pants scene in Superbad after reading this haha.
allsmilesnow88 5
Sucks. But very funny & witty.
thelittlebirdie 9
just call yourself a Hipster and you'll be good.
jewelz1012 11
Just think... U can do that to him on his first date or picture day as he's walking out
Satoaoi 13
psht I would have beat his Lil ass Lil brat needs to be sat on and given a noogie
BananerzFresh 12
The movie Carrie just flashed.
Steel_BZ 8
Did anyone else think this was going to end by some kind of stain being revealed?
Bludmagnus 13
That kid needs a real dose of what is just this side of the line between discipline and child abuse.
caranina 15
Watch out for Giovanna Plowman. She might try to eat you