Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
Today, after losing my job and being quarantined alone, I realized I've gained quite a bit of weight due to depression. I decided to do something about it and walk around my neighborhood. A group of teens followed me laughing and hurling insults until I cried. FML
Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML
Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
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Top comments
CamberwellCarrot 8
You should've mocked the loser who drives an ice cream truck for a living.
NoobHat 6
How you kept running is beyond me, I'm powerless before an ice cream sandwich.
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Comments (151)
loserman67 36
Any good business man knows the simple rules of staying in business: 1. Stay close to your best customers (hence his following you) 2. Provide quick service (hence his following you) 3. Anticipate your customer's needs (you were jogging, he figured you'd get thirsty or hungry at some point) 4. Don't wait for business to come to you (he was right there when you needed him) and... 5. If you don't take care of your customer, someone else will. (He was there to block attempts by other vendors). I say a good businessman, not a mocker - don't hate - appreciate
atlas22 0
Everything makes sense now...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
At least you recognize you have a problem, and are doing something to fix it. He can laugh all he wants, but the fact that you're an exception to the many people don't even realize they're overweight and/or don't want to do anything about it remains. Keep on running and take care of your diet and you'll be in shape soon enough.
K_kanaka 26
Buy a nice cold tasty sundae from the guy......THEN THROW IT IN THAT F&$@ER'S FACE!!!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Congratulations. You've demonstrated the will power to resist temptation. Next time, bring along some music and headphones to drown out the ice cream dealers siren song.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Plus, with music pumping you up, you'll get way more out of your exercise.
cash_monkey72 9
How'd you pull that off? I would have bought some ice-cream and gone in!
mikeysayhay 0
I like this one:)
boredmex01 2
wtf? how is this an fml? that's a win, u have will power! good for u!
perdix 31
The ice-cream man is able to tell by your body type that you are much more of an ice-cream consumer than you are a jogger. Successful salespeople always go for the low-hanging fruit first.
mbrooks5110 0
Turn around & run the opposite direction...
hoonyer 17
luckyyy. . . i want my own personal ice cream truck :/