Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
Today, after losing my job and being quarantined alone, I realized I've gained quite a bit of weight due to depression. I decided to do something about it and walk around my neighborhood. A group of teens followed me laughing and hurling insults until I cried. FML
Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML
Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
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Top comments
CamberwellCarrot 8
You should've mocked the loser who drives an ice cream truck for a living.
NoobHat 6
How you kept running is beyond me, I'm powerless before an ice cream sandwich.
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Comments (151)
taytoc 10
This is y I'm glad I'm lactose intolerant
leadman1989 16
Most people are, just some more than others. Poor thing so many delicious DELICIOUS things you just can't have or else you end up on the toilet.
leadman1989 16
Time to start carrying bear mace. >:)
Lovesglee 3
Maybe he just couldnt get around ur fat ass. Sry op, my friend blackmailed me into saying that. :( I send u tellapathic hope and strength to reach ur goal. :)
RLG 7
Well the during training for the U.S navy seals, you'll lay down on the coast of a beach where water gets you and your instructors yell out "that's the warm wave, yeah that's.. No no that wasn't very warm" the entire time every time. Its all mental and bearly physical. You can do it if you forget about quiting
aali12 7
That's is some messed stuff that is just straight up mean and I thought ice cream men were supposed to be nice...
leannecloveryau 11
That totally changed my views on ice cream trucks...
THE_A_TEEN 28
Lucky, in a way, I had a dream where I was being chased by an ice cream truck and was singing "twinkle, twinkle little star, I'LL RUN YOU OVER WITH MAH CAR" scary FIGHT THE TEMPTATION!
DisappearingRose 18
That's a smart ice cream truck driver!
ikickgingers 15
Okay I cannot stay away from this fml. I keep picturing a ginger midget running away from an ice cream truck with the stay puft marshmallow man plaster in it. For some reason the ice cream truck is playing Pantera - walk. Fml now.
tonnyfong 3
Nice. A free personal trainer.