Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
Today, after losing my job and being quarantined alone, I realized I've gained quite a bit of weight due to depression. I decided to do something about it and walk around my neighborhood. A group of teens followed me laughing and hurling insults until I cried. FML
Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML
Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
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Top comments
CamberwellCarrot 8
You should've mocked the loser who drives an ice cream truck for a living.
NoobHat 6
How you kept running is beyond me, I'm powerless before an ice cream sandwich.
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Comments (151)
Bloodlvst 11
Hey, he was just trying to help you. He knows all ice cream truck guys are creepy and that you'd run faster if he was following you.
DomoLaDii 8
lmao ahaha!!
jas78cool 0
You should've eaten the ice-cream and burned the calories...??
rexgar2000 10
that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, that would make the workout pointless
esums1892 5
Then they would be back to square one. It would have just been wasted time rather than productive.
theboogieman 0
and they would probably throw up
raaawwwrrZ 8
Puking makes you pretty
jacob128 4
No... It doesn't
eln3mo13 8
I'm pretty sure he wants to lose weight, not stay the same. good try though
jacob128 4
Well after years of buying every day from him he was just making sure his best customer wasnt hungry...
thisimadeup 0
Wow what a great STORY...
RaineLee 5
Tell him that you're jogging for a reason, so you won't be buying any ice cream.
Tookie22 5
**** that puto at least you're trying to better yourself. Props on that.
Enslaved 38
I love the ice man! Where can you get a Sponge Bob Square Pants ice cream with gum ball eyeballs? They don't sell that in the stores. I've looked! Luck for me, I can hear him coming from miles away.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Sure, the SpongeBob ice cream looks fantastic on the picture, but once you open it, you've got a demented yellow monster with googly eyes, razor sharp teeth and blood drooling down his mouth staring back at you. And you're supposed to lick his face. If I was a little kid I would shit my pants.
Enslaved 38
Haha, you're right. He does look like that! Good thing I know how to swallow his face whole!(:
denvan 0
Wow you must have one big mouth swallow it all o.O (mental picture)
Liedna 12
Mental image of you deep-throating an huge Ice cream... It's not pretty...
rexgar2000 10
holy shit dude that actually sucks. dnt worry just keep on running and you'll be skinny I'm no time
Xallys 0
Hey, good for you for carrying on jogging. You'll thank yourself for it once you're in great shape.