Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
Today, after losing my job and being quarantined alone, I realized I've gained quite a bit of weight due to depression. I decided to do something about it and walk around my neighborhood. A group of teens followed me laughing and hurling insults until I cried. FML
Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML
Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
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Top comments
CamberwellCarrot 8
You should've mocked the loser who drives an ice cream truck for a living.
NoobHat 6
How you kept running is beyond me, I'm powerless before an ice cream sandwich.
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Comments (151)
eln3mo13 8
you should be careful. it could be Herbert...
bert26 7
Good motivation. I see nothing to complain about.
ohmandapants 17
Well! You showed that mean old ice cream truck didn't you! You were running AWAY from it, not AFTER it. That's progress :-)
E_ve 9
Lol... Resist! We know you can do it! ;) Good luck
captainfalcon7 0
the ice cream truck was following you? or were you running after the ice cream?
decidedlyvague 11
why eat the ice-cream when you can eat the whole truck? Drivers are pretty delicious with a side of metal
dansco 25
Did you run through a park?!
VianaJ_Garcia 14
So, you are that fat? Wow! What have you been doing in the couple of years?
michaeljcaboose 7
A solitary killer, the ice cream truck stalks its prey.....
asia3pea90 13
this sh*it is hilarious...