By Uh-oh - 10/11/2009 12:33 - Australia

Today, I decided to come clean with my daughter about her adoptive status within my family. Just after I told her she was adopted, I realized that I have been telling her stories about me giving birth to her. FML
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Top comments

tiffanyheart 0

Now by keeping that secret from her for so long, you've taught her that being adopted is something to be ashamed of. You should have told her she was adopted from the start and you adopted her because you love her. Adoptive parents take a child from biological parent(s) who for one reason or another feel they can't or aren't able to raise their child. That is a gift, or it should be. Clearly if you think adoption is something to keep secret from your child then you deserve it. **** your daughter's life, indeed

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BethanyKimberly 4

you probly should have let her know when she was younger.

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Comments

Anders_A 0

Haha. What a lousy mother you are! How the hell could you lie to your child about something like that? I hope she's strong enough to break all bonds with her parents who have been lying to her her whole life.

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Flutist 3

What's with all the fruity language on here. LOL. I adopted you from magical, loving unicorns. I love you like glitter and rainbows. We get the point. I don't see what the big deal is, your parents love you or they don't, it doesn't matter whose uterus you had squatters right to for nine months. I was adopted. I don't personally care, but that was because my mother told me I was adopted and didn't LIE about giving birth to me. I wouldn't trust you Op.

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Ashleydiane 0

It's one thing to not want to tell your daughter she is adopted, but it's another thing to lie and tell her storys about you birthing her. You shouldn't have ever lied to her. Not telling her she is adopted, wouldn't be lying and less she asked you!!

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SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Wow. **** your daughter's life. This is gonna really screw her up. /: You fail as a parent, OP.

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xApril 0

My parents let me know when I was so young I can't remember exactly when I was told and it wasn't in the least bit traumatic or weird to me. That's how it should be done.

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thisyearsgirl 0

This. My parents did the same. I'm 22, never had any issues about being adopted, and found my biological family six months ago. I've read tons of stories about adopted kids feeling terrible guilt and shame about their natural curiosity to discover their biological families because their adoptive parents were never open to talking about the fact that they were adopted. Adoptive parents who deceive their children need to get over their own insecurities and think about the welfare of their kid(s). The parents made the decision (for whatever reason, even if it was because they literally couldn't have kids) to adopt, and they need to accept everything that comes with it, including the responsibilities, which in some senses are greater than those of biological parents. Parents are the ones who raise you, and if adoptive parents are honest about things early on, it will make everything easier in the long run. Now as people have said, we don't know how old the OP's kid is. But this isn't about just "not telling until they're old enough to understand" (which, let's face it, is as early as 4 or 5 - NOT in the already difficult teenage years), this is about actually flat out lying to the kid. And that's screwed up. This isn't a FYL, this is a YDI and FML for the kid. Good luck at figuring out how to make this better (and I do mean that). It's always much harder this way.

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PhillyFox 0

I don't know why parents are so shady with adoptive children. They treat it like it's morally wrong to adopt or something. You could've been honest with her right from the beginning instead of hiding until she's older. I've known I was adopted my whole life, and nobody had a problem with it. I would think it would be worse to let kids know when they're older, when they've already went years thinking you gave birth to them.

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vencku 13

They don't think it's morally wrong, they think the child might be hurt by the truth by not believe that their adoptive parents really love them, Or worse, the child can be traumatized by the idea that their biological mother didn't want them and gave them away to a stranger. They were "thrown away"

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YDI_King 0

YDI for being a liar. or YDI for not keeping up with your lies. either way YDI

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perdix 29

So, after years of lies and deception, your "daughter" realizes that she is not biologically connected to you or your husband. Therefore, if she were to become pregnant by your husband, she won't have a genetically-mutated deformed monster. This cannot end well.

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