Love: Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing...

By gnownayrgnow - 08/05/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 783

You deserved it 5 646

Love

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Walk the line

Leave us alone

By HM - 06/04/2011 17:28 - Germany

Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 706

You deserved it 3 565

By angry - 28/06/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I went to go get a new ID because my wallet was stolen, which had my social security card in it as well. I found out that to get your ID you have to have your social security card, and to get your social security card, you need your ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 988

You deserved it 8 669

By Noname - 17/03/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, I came back to my appartment to find that I couldn't watch certain channels on my tv. When I called the tv company I found out my parents had put a 'parental block' on all my favorite channels. Im 22 and rent an appartment with my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 475

You deserved it 7 844

By LittleFriend - 30/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was told I will receive no Christmas or birthday presents for the next 3 years because my parents paid for my rhinoplasty. I needed it because my 12-year-old brother smashed my nose with a hammer in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 853

You deserved it 282

By KC - 25/04/2012 20:06 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 329

You deserved it 8 704

By DSM - 14/03/2009 11:05 - United States

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 117 270

By unhappy - 07/06/2015 18:23 - United States - San Anselmo

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 943

You deserved it 3 940

By shellbom - 17/11/2009 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said "how would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 748

You deserved it 4 004

By letmediealready - 22/12/2017 19:00

Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 666

You deserved it 321

When feral kids attack

By GracieGirl - 04/10/2019 06:00

Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 12/05/2011 07:54

Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 455

You deserved it 5 674

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 212

You deserved it 3 984

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 22:00

Today, I needed to call my mom to get some info so I dialled the number on my work phone. Not 2 seconds after, my cellphone rang. I got super pissed off because I hate when people call me on my cell at work. It was me. I'd dialled my own number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 2 135

It's a holly jolly Christmas…

By Victor - 24/12/2020 14:02

Today, I usually take my daughter to daycare; my wife had to drop her daughter off at 8. The kid refused to get up, making them late. Wife argues with me, claiming I made her late. She said hurtful things and left late at 8:30. We haven't spoken and probably won't for the rest of Christmas week. I love Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 117

By Wtf - 29/04/2011 16:09 - Canada

Today, my doctor told me my asthma was being triggered by my dad's smoking. He wrote a note to my dad, asking him to refrain from smoking while around me. My dad took one look at the note, then threw it in the trash, saying the doctor "doesn't know what he's talking about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 255

You deserved it 3 005

That sucks

By Anonymous - 29/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 928

By Sidney - 07/01/2009 20:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 035

You deserved it 41 738

OK Shaggy

By familydisaster - 05/08/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 505

You deserved it 2 502

By Noname - 13/03/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 785

You deserved it 30 036

By Anonymous - 06/01/2016 15:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, let's just say it's not a good sign when your plumber yells "What the fuck?!" That is, unless you actually like your kitchen being swamped by sewage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 998

You deserved it 1 336

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 17:01 - Netherlands

Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 679

You deserved it 6 327

By BrandNewLemon - 15/08/2015 02:09 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I financed my first car. I also made my first call to AAA when it broke down. It barely had any miles on it and I wasn't even home yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 246

You deserved it 1 916

By fataldisease - 11/12/2008 12:21 - France

Today, my son laughed at me when I tried to get him to put a bit more effort into his schoolwork. His grandmother had kindly given him all my shitty school reports from when I was his age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 959

You deserved it 7 528

By Anonymous - 16/04/2015 02:41 - Australia

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 728

You deserved it 3 118

By fuck - 14/08/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 780

You deserved it 15 745

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 538

You deserved it 6 922

By Watchyourstep - 20/10/2009 17:11 - France

Today, in front of a bunch of people on my college campus, my mom grabbed my hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 588

You deserved it 4 754

By sexyyy - 07/12/2009 19:18 - Belgium

Today, my family and I were discussing my birthday in a couple weeks. As they asked what I wanted, I told them it was up to them. So my mother suggested that she'll get me electrolysis so I wouldn't have to worry about my mustache in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 694

You deserved it 5 094

By nonmormon - 18/07/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 013

You deserved it 4 258

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 455

You deserved it 45 930

By nsb124 - 28/01/2015 08:07 - United States

Today, it was my brother's birthday. I was short on money but got him a present anyway. After opening it, he looked at it and said, "I didn't really want this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 739

You deserved it 2 800

By ???? - 25/01/2012 06:32 - United States

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 853

You deserved it 6 658

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 218

You deserved it 3 512

By dudezilla - 13/10/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 192

You deserved it 3 841

By LALALALA - 29/05/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 123

You deserved it 48 774

By littlepsychgirl - 29/09/2011 20:14 - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I would dog-sit for them while they go to my ex's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 412

You deserved it 2 919

Nose to the grind

By Over-employed - 23/08/2021 20:01

Today, my wife was lucky not to get fired from her part-time job for doing nothing since we went into lockdown 8 weeks ago. To celebrate this, she has downed two bottles of red wine and watched an entire season of Virgin River. Guess I’ll have to find a third job to make up the income when the inevitable happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 85

By lumi - 24/06/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, I received in the mail a hockey puck autographed by recent hall of fame addition Steve Yzerman. When asked, I had to explain to my 4 year old brother that someone famous had written his name on it. Later, I discovered that my brother decided it needed his name on it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 118

You deserved it 5 489

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 982

You deserved it 3 363

By szinna - 07/06/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said, "Is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" When I answered yes, he turned and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 968

You deserved it 6 759

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Top comments

Quasar55_fml 18

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:02

As we always say, if she left you just like that she didn't really love you, so that's better that way

Ryan0510 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:10

Paranoid bitch

itsalwaysYDI 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:01

Well were you cheating?!? haha

bravesfan112233 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:05

that's what you get for being nice

Ryan0510 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:10

Paranoid bitch

MC18 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:33

Maybe SHE was the one cheating...you definitely don't want to be with her if she's going to get mad over something so stupid...

littlemissFYL 5

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:51

I agree 26, maybe OPs girlfriend was cheating and was looking for a way out of the relationship. if not, then your girlfriend is a female dog.

WishResign 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:53

maybe she'd have been happier if he shat on her, ungrateful slut

CrazyDutch 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 17:06

stab her while she's is sleeping

shannonreneee 11

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Sunday 8 May 2011 17:16

I have read on multiple sites that if men are too nice, you should be suspicious of cheating. Now that is just so stupid and horrible, but I guess some women refuse to trust men. If my boyfriend did all of that I would be wondering what he wants from me, aha.

skidoo800HO 2

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Sunday 8 May 2011 17:28

What an oversized bitch!

ajrzjr 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 17:39

I agree with 58, I mean if OP is just being nice to his gf out of random, anyone would be suspicious.

theaws0m3guy 4

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Sunday 8 May 2011 17:48

Cough* big ass bitch cough*

Kn0wledge123 21

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Sunday 8 May 2011 19:10

I don't get that about women. They always say to "do something nice" or they like to be "pleasantly surprised" once in awhile, then when it happens, "oh shit he must be trying to hide something!". WTF lady?? What do you want?

aPennyForMyThots 9

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Sunday 8 May 2011 19:43

hahaha i so totally agree. and i'm female. hahah..

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Sunday 8 May 2011 19:47

You must be a fucking asshole if folding clothes is something so strange and out of the ordinary for you that you lose your girlfriend over it. So for that I say YDI.

taff_fml 1

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Sunday 8 May 2011 20:01

ydi sure she over reacted but how much do you not help her around the house?

RunnerDudeTyler 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 20:22

She's probably just used to being abused by her "gangster" ex(s)!

zuzupetalsYO 11

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Sunday 8 May 2011 23:18

all guys cheat

xxLifexx 0

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Monday 9 May 2011 1:08

um not all guys i have a bf whos not cheating on me and proposed to me today maybe OPs girlfriend was cheating on him and wanted a way out without hurting him well she failed at that but some boys do not cheat and i dooubt that he was my fiance always does that kind of stuff for me so dont assume things ydi

skadoosh52 0

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Monday 9 May 2011 1:16

#8 i laugh everyyyy time i see dat picture with da caption lmfao

FuniiBunii 0

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Monday 9 May 2011 2:49

That's pure evil of her ! U deserve better -.-

xtacticalswarmx 0

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Monday 9 May 2011 3:37

So naive.

jess6blondie9 2

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Monday 9 May 2011 7:15

134 - Just because your boyfriend proposed to you doesn't mean that he's not cheating on you.. Don't be so naive.

fastspeed1234 0

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Sunday 15 May 2011 3:54

not all guys are asshole jerks there ARE nice guys out there

bgonebryce 7

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Thursday 16 June 2011 6:28

wow 58, wowww.

Quasar55_fml 18

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:02

As we always say, if she left you just like that she didn't really love you, so that's better that way

angelpies 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:11

possibly. sounds like this was just any excuse for her to leave.

imcheerish 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:52

quassar55 your picture looks like that guy from the YouTube account makemebad36

ijrnelson 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 18:04

I see what you did there.

Back_In_Action 18

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Sunday 8 May 2011 18:49

38 - I went to school with makemebad35. That guy looks nothing like him.

EatnBeef 7

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Sunday 8 May 2011 22:45

she's a stuck up bitch

KJLD5 0

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Monday 9 May 2011 7:23

but he looks like makemebad36

hellobeautiful5 2

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Saturday 7 July 2012 7:43

I don't know, if him helping her out around the house is so rare that she thinks he's cheating on her, maybe she should break it off...

ImInABox 6

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:02

Now it's time to go back in and throw all the clothes everywhere and leave!

Rakistazz 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 17:34

^ Amen to that

marinus_fml 19

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:03

You only hypothesize with the intent to test the hypothesis. I assume you meant she "assumed" that you're cheating on her.

bombermanpyr 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:48

yes it matters hypothesis are ment to be tested assumptions are not

TheDrifter 23

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Sunday 8 May 2011 17:05

She did test her hypothesis. His reaction as she left gave her a clear answer to her hypothesis. She is however still off to her new source of penis' house for mothers day dinner and better loving. A woman will never leave in a hurry if she doesn't have someone else to go to.

Tsunami87 17

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Sunday 8 May 2011 18:57

4 - that's a serious burn you got there!

Perdition 4

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Sunday 8 May 2011 19:19

4 - Marinus, I didn't know you were Dutch. Spreekt u het Nederlands? 85 - That's a tan. Most burns are red.

mattelijah 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 20:34

smart guy. ;) love ur comments

valleyshooter 8

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Sunday 8 May 2011 21:11

goddamnit man really did you have actually state that. couldn't you assume everyone new what he was talking about.

Pshhyah 7

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Sunday 8 May 2011 21:57

112 - *knew, not "new"

weird_little_kid 0

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Monday 9 May 2011 6:30

haha 118- I love your comment

Mmmcharlotte 0

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Tuesday 10 May 2011 19:23

that's the first thing I thought too. too many science classes

SpectSelf 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:03

sounds like she was just looking for an excuse. sorry.

vita987 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:36

or she was cheating and felt guilty

vita987 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:36

or she was cheating and felt guilty

SpectSelf 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:38

yup. whatever it is it ain't cool

supertacowaffle 41

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:04

Either be always nasty or always nice, otherwise a girl will get suspicious.

boredSOLDIER 33

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:19

that's what I'm thinking lol

copo37 7

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:04

See this here is a prime example of why when women start the work in a relationship just let them keep doing it while you make empty the fridge and make the ass dent in the couch bigger..... and yes bring on the sexist comments I know they're coming.

aPennyForMyThots 9

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Sunday 8 May 2011 19:49

haha not all females are like that ya know..

goldenone 2

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Monday 9 May 2011 9:21

nah, we're tired

rends 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:06

why were you in the kitchen?! that's her job!

mintcar 9

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:16

Wow, I haven't heard that one before.

CaptainPickles72 18

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Sunday 8 May 2011 17:10

9- I'll forgive for stealing that pic idea from me, in the end I got a better one!

nicrwalt 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 21:08

let's have babies...or practice the art of doing so

afdude87 6

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:06

sounds like she was looking for an excuse to break up. sorry op

CitrusGirl 0

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Sunday 8 May 2011 16:09

You must be a dixk all the time if doing two little chores causes her to get suspicious. Either that or she's crazy and you're better off without her.