Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend complaining that I don't help with the chores, I secretly took a day off work to deal with some that were piling up. When she got home, all she could do was complain about how I hadn't done more. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my girlfriend by cleaning the entire house while she was at work. I even lit incense to make it extra special. When she came home, she walked in, sniffed, and immediately accused me of "cheating or something" because "only guilt makes you clean this much." She also blamed me for adding more dust by burning incense. FML
Today, I cleaned our whole house. I wasn’t expecting praise, it was just the house needed cleaning so I did it. I also wasn’t expecting my girlfriend to get mad at me for “cleaning everything as a form of passive aggressively criticising her for her not having cleaned the house either.” What? FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, I was telling my friend about how my boyfriend never does anything nice for me. Confused, she replied, "That's odd, he's always doing nice things for me." FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, I woke up early to do the dishes and clean up, after having people over yesterday. Now my wife is mad at me because I didn't stay in bed with her longer. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
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Top comments
Quasar55_fml 18
As we always say, if she left you just like that she didn't really love you, so that's better that way
Ryan0510 0
Paranoid bitch
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Comments (182)
mk58 31
Faulty reasoning... Wait, if she thought you were being too nice, does that mean you don't usually clean up?
RyanMacVey 17
you cheated on her??? your a dick
ashseal 11
it didn't say she cheated
RyanMacVey 17
no he cheated on her ... i think
ashseal 11
um why.? maybe he just wanted to treat his girlfriend good. like he should in the first place.
RyanMacVey 17
coz it says she hypotistised that he was cheating on her... isnt that like realising that he was cheating on her???
ashseal 11
No cuz she could just be a bitch and wanted an excuse to dump him. He was just trying to be nicee
RyanMacVey 17
so he didnt cheat on her???
ashseal 11
Well we don't know that but he sounds like he didn't cheat.
benderbot19 0
hypotisiWHAT?
BellaGoBoom 6
Hypothermia is OBVIOUSLY what he was going for there! -.-;
FeelinFine 1
Possibly you should look up the definition of "hypothesis" before posting any comments here, you stupid animal.
JSBach25 0
Awwwww snap! everyone hide yo husbands, hide yo wives, and hide yo pens because gayboii's rapin' everybody out there!!
PSQ91 6
That guy is a perfect example of a dumbass.
Perdition 4
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome gayboii, master of none and king of fails. Get lost, cum guzzler.
Perdition 4
shucks.
TheNewGuy03 29
gayboii, you could have even copied and pasted to save your ass. sorry, you gets no love, son. |the kid|
JayBear14 11
Tell her it was a mothers day gift and you want her to be the mother of your children? loll that was a joke..
Blueglasscup 18
Oh god that's hilarious. Unless you're usually a douchebag which is why she was suspecting you of doing something... I guess we'll never know... (ominous music)
JayBear14 11
For some reason as (ominous music) i imagined Mike Birbiglias interpretation of Kenny's jazz music
khaya 9
Next time don't fold another girl's g-string in front of your current girlfriend.
jayAZ 3
criticism is often due to faults of their own, your FML in 2 weeks (cause your slow) will be finding out she was cheating on you!
benderbot19 0
their slow what?
benderbot19 0
she must take advice from people that comment on FML
loveofyourlife11 0
op. she was probably the one cheating and used you cheating as an excuse to leave you for the other guy. or girl. I'm sorry to hear that. if she can't appreciate the little things though, you probably don't deserve her. just try to forget about her. you will find someone who loves you and will appreciate things like that.
BellaGoBoom 6
Probably doesn't deserve her. Haha, think that might be a little bit backwards.
thatnucca 36
Don't even bother! She might be the one cheating if that all her mind could make of a good deed like that... Usually most accusers are! So you dodged the bullet buddy... Move on!
cool517 1
I bet she was the one sucking another d..k let that lazy bi.. go there are more fish on the sea!!
TheNewGuy03 29
what about around the sea? are there fish there? what about near? i think i recall seeing some there... perhaps the fish are, in fact, IN the sea. only one way to find out, i guess... *ploop* |the kid|