Health: Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML - FML

By Username - 02/08/2011 14:52 - United States

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 450

You deserved it 5 093

Weddings blow

Who's the loser?

Shithole

By The Seamstress - 20/05/2017 11:00 - United States - Irving

Today, while sewing, I learned that I cannot hold pins in my mouth and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 012

You deserved it 5 405

History

By catfish - 23/02/2009 22:11 - United States

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those '70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 52 061

By sam_666777 - 30/08/2014 02:54 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 989

You deserved it 10 367

By Anonymous - 23/08/2013 21:58 - Mexico

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 701

You deserved it 3 079

Dream baby dream

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my father sobbing his eyes out in the kitchen. Apparently, I screamed, "DON'T TELL THEM I'M PREGNANT!" in my sleep last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 262

Zoomers

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 11:01

Spicy

Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 86

By chucklesman96 - 11/12/2016 20:34 - Canada - Westerose

Today, I got shot in the leg while taking a firearms safety course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 141

You deserved it 1 135

By Anonymous - 04/02/2012 02:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I argued with my girlfriend over her constantly wasting our money on acupuncture. She said if I could prove it was baloney, she would stop. After I showed her copious amounts of scientific proof debunking it as pseudo-science, she told me we're "taking a break" from our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 663

You deserved it 11 850

By FuckMyEyes - 26/12/2012 01:49 - Australia - Sydney

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 655

You deserved it 8 213

By lalala2494 - 27/05/2019 22:05

Today, I said, "Bless you" when someone sneezed on television. That's how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 192

By jonh_215 - 08/04/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 942

You deserved it 3 979

By Arrkyna - 23/08/2015 17:42

Today, I decided to upgrade to Windows 10. I wanted to keep my old files on the current hard drive, I clicked on the keep old files option. Thanks to Windows, I lost everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 721

You deserved it 5 687

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 206

You deserved it 4 564

By rog3rli - 13/11/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, I realized that even though I've taken three years of Spanish, the only words and phrases I can remember are from Dora the Explorer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 967

You deserved it 12 668

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 15:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 746

You deserved it 7 825

By arghh - 29/09/2009 09:43 - Australia

Today, I was on a tram and I noticed an older lady having trouble getting down the stairs. I immediately got up to help her, dropping my bag on the seat accidentally. As I went to get back on the tram, the doors closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 708

You deserved it 5 555

By windsoffate - 09/06/2016 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 581

You deserved it 943

By cbad - 30/01/2012 15:27 - United States

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 993

You deserved it 47 960

At least it wasn't rotting coconut?

By Getmeoutofhere - 10/08/2017 17:15 - Australia

Today, I was masturbating when my dad came into my room to say goodnight. He leaned down over my bed, paused, and said "What's that smell? It's like... oh." His face dropped and he left the room. I don't think he'll ever see me the same way again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 282

You deserved it 1 056

Scary

By Adan - 04/12/2012 21:34 - United States - Monroe

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 652

You deserved it 25 141

By fisherman - 23/01/2010 10:12 - United States

Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 905

You deserved it 35 134

By Username - 06/11/2010 17:58 - France

Today, at my cousin's baby shower, there was a discussion on what to name the baby. When the name Jacqueline was brought up, I made a face and exclaimed, "Ugh, I hate that name!" I was then informed that's the name of my cousin's mother-in-law. She definitely heard me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 599

You deserved it 27 518

Desperate

By Anonymous - 23/03/2021 14:01 - Luxembourg - Luxembourg

Today, I tried to find a job. Again. It's been seven years since I earned more than 70€ in a month, seven years since I moved back in with my parents, and seven years since I was registered as having a medical disability. Nobody wants me, not even as a shelf stacker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 77

By Anonymous - 16/04/2018 19:00

Today, my wife sent me a text expressing her "love and thinking to the future with you, Chad". Too bad my name isn't Chad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 795

You deserved it 247

Nightmare Fuel

By anon - 01/06/2018 01:30

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 561

You deserved it 335

Slight overreaction?

By Anonymous - 19/03/2020 07:37

Today, my husband and I recently decided not to have kids, because neither of us like children. Learning this, my dad wrote me out of his will and my mother swore on the Bible in church that she’s never going to speak to me again until I obey God's word and start multiplying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 236

By Dlord357 - 07/11/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 983

You deserved it 3 989

By LeChameauTrisomique - 14/03/2014 04:33 - France - Saint-germain-de-la-grange

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 534

You deserved it 8 922

The Shining

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 14:00

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old twin brothers yet again. I began to get desperate when they took my phone and would start crying every time I tried to take it back. My mother found me thirty minutes later, huddled in a corner, crying. I'm 27 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 1 241

By anonymous - 28/12/2016 05:07 - United States

Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 513

You deserved it 977

By Anonymous - 29/12/2012 01:23 - Canada - Calgary

Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 969

You deserved it 4 401

By singleagain - 15/05/2012 01:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 953

You deserved it 42 413

Kids…

By Courtney - 26/05/2016 12:12 - United States

Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 293

You deserved it 1 248

By colts609380 - 17/05/2012 21:07 - United States - Corona

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 785

You deserved it 3 101

All the single ladies (All the single ladies)

By Lissa - 10/09/2019 20:00

Spicy

Today, I’m a 28 year-old single mom who has never has never experienced an orgasm. This sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 543

By ireallylikecats - 22/04/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 226

You deserved it 2 564

By beernuts - 06/03/2012 11:53 - United States

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 631

You deserved it 2 218

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 20:19 - United States - San Diego

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 816

You deserved it 3 581

By fme - 27/01/2018 15:00

Spicy

Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 653

You deserved it 334

By me - 07/08/2011 07:22 - United States

Today, I arrived at the beach for a week's vacation. I walk on the beach only to find they are "rebuilding" it. They have heavy machinery all over the place, they work 24/7, and this only happens every 15 years. Glad I picked this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 927

You deserved it 3 702

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Top comments

RandomChickXD 0

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:07

free piercings are the best kind of piercings!

coffeeandcream 8

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:07

hey, it's better to get your eyebrow pierced than your eye.

Comments

x_messyjessy_x 0

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:06

Was the fish still on the hook??

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:11

look at it this way, now you're just like Fergi! :)

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:13

Hahaha

worldcupcheer17 0

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:14

Well at least you didn't have to pay for it..

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:32

Clean it off and keep it in, you'll look so bad-ass :D or just stop by the nearest doctor and you'll be out of there fixed up in less than 5 minutes :) I accidentally hooked my daddy once...

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:55

better than getting your dick pierced.

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 21:17

#1- No but there was a shark nearby. Shark Week!

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 21:58

Hell yeah! I LOVE shark week! I can't believe it's been a year already.(:

dolphincheddar 10

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 21:58

Learn to fish

dolphincheddar 10

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:00

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and the dumbass impales himself

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:57

Sourgirl- A year from the last one, right? Shark week first aired in 1987 lol.

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 5:56

get sone fishnets and you'll be fine

MyScrewedUpLifeS 0

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 5:57

*conjures billy rae cyrus* that's off the hook!

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 6:00

Yes Kidd, (: shark week! played on the Discovery Channel once a year. >.

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 6:19

and the fish fight back..

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 7:35

niice

RandomChickXD 0

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:07

free piercings are the best kind of piercings!

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:19

Exactly what I thought.

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:31

Aha if she dosent like it , she can come see me . I have pierces my cartilage & my belly button . (: haha

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:52

Awesome!

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 21:26

Ahaha (:

randomlettrrs 8

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:07

except free dick piercings

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:51

Goooo Steve-O!!

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 3:57

100- your comment coincides well with your description

F2M2L 5

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 5:30

op was caught by a pro angler. Haha

coffeeandcream 8

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:07

hey, it's better to get your eyebrow pierced than your eye.

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:33

The thought of that alone made me cringe. Eyebrow piercing arnt bad OP, might aswell get some "bling" in there. Mine ripped out and left a scar, so careful when taking motorbike helmets off. Top tip.

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 20:01

At least it wasn't your cheek! Haha (Stevo from Jackass)

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 21:38

my mom got a fish hook in her eye...

DropTheDaggerxx 31

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 5:48

Fucking ouch. I've never had anything besides my ear pierced, but I know from getting my eyebrows threaded, that skin is wicked sensitive. It also makes your eyes water like a bitch regardless of whether it's painful or not. Couldn't imagine getting my eyebrow professionally pierced, much less by a fishhook.

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 6:51

acually I think it wold be pretty AWESOME to have my eye pierced! ima start a new trend

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Friday 5 August 2011 15:39

Yeah good luck with that .

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Sunday 24 June 2012 4:14

3- first thing I thought of too. I'd just be thankful it was only my eyebrow and not my eyeball.

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:08

Fish Hook= 1 OP= 0

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:51

Fail

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 20:11

Hi, i'm Steve-o ...and we're gonna go man-fishing

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 20:22

Hi (:

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:09

i hate when that happens to me

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:47

So it happens to you a lot?

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 20:44

maybe fishing ain't for you then...

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 23:53

If I was in your pic I'd so push buddy over the edge....

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:09

isnt that how every one does it now?

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:54

I did twice

lilmissdangerous 7

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:10

hmmm, now why don't you pierce you cheek next. that way you can pull a stevo

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:10

Piercings are bad... Get you hooked to shit.

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:53

Your opinion is stupid, we don't care about it.

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 20:25

Apparently 52 didnt get the joke either :)

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:10

At least it was free! just make sure the hole doesn't close up!

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:12

Keep the fishing rod connected to it for the final touch. It could be served for so many purposes: A tightrope, a dog leash, dental floss, or a jumping rope.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 28

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 22

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 186

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 258