Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML

Too late

Today, my husband told me he'd changed his mind and no longer wants children. We already have two kids. FML

Quality family time

Today, after a long talk with the kids, I finally got all the chores around the house done early so we could have a fun family weekend. My wife decided to be a wet blanket and insisted we needed to deep clean the already clean kitchen. Three arguments later, everyone is sulking, and I'm working in the kitchen alone. FML

Help out or get out

Today, I had an very long day at work. I also had to take my daughter to the dentist and ballet class. Later, my 3 year-old son was having a diarrhoea, needing care, yet I pulled myself up, cooked, fed, read, cleaned the whole house except the kids' bedroom. My brother-in-law came, looked only at that and judged me horribly. FML

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

Gross dude, dude

Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

Breaking news

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML

Today, due to plumbing issues, I had to choose between a goosebump-inducing cold or skin-blistering hot shower. This is the 7th day in a row. My husband says it shouldn't be more than another week before he "gets it figured out". FML

Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML