It doesn't work like that

By Comeon - 02/07/2023 06:00

Today, the girl of my dreams rejected my advances once again. This is a girl who’s had her heart broken over and over again by cheaters and abusers. She can’t even recognize something great, even if it’s staring at her in the face. What do I have to do to end her vicious cycle of endless heartbreak? FML
I agree, your life sucks 182
You deserved it 1 827

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Let Me Down Gently" by Spacemen 3

By Heal my butt smh - 24/09/2023 18:02 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I’ve been waiting for the girl I love to break up with her boyfriend so I could ask her out. It finally happened; however she said she wanted time to heal before she started getting involved with guys again. I respected that decision. There’s just one problem. I saw her in town, hand in hand with another man. FML
I agree, your life sucks 342
You deserved it 999

Top comments

turnabouttrial 21

First, stop trying to ask her out, she's given you her answer. The way that you don't seem to take no for an answer is probably why she will never date you. Second, the fact that you think she won't get over heartbreak, avoid abusive cheaters, and have "something great" ONLY UNLESS she finally caves into your constant advances raises a ton of red flags. You probably mean well for her, but I'm glad she rejected you because I'm sure she agrees you don't seem very good for her either. As for the question you posed, be her friend. Teach her how to recognize abuser tactics, trust her instincts, set clear boundaries with potential boyfriends, how to confront people who violate those boundaries, etc. And STOP trying to get with her while you're doing it. That makes it seem like you're only being nice to her because you want her for yourself, don't be transactional. Be her unconditional friend because you want her safe/happy and nothing more.

Nikki 17

This sounds better if you re write it: Today I made unwanted advances towards a girl who has repeatedly shut me down in the past. This girl has been mistreated and abused by others and is now being harassed by me, why can’t she see how great I am? If you were truly that great, she wouldn’t be rejecting you, you have a warped perception of yourself.

Comments

It's not about you homie, it's about her. If you truly love and respect her, let her be and move on. You feel you want to help but she has spoken.

He's not trying to help he's trying to get off with her is all

Indeed this is true. He is just trying to get with her. If he truly cared he'd back off.

turnabouttrial 21

First, stop trying to ask her out, she's given you her answer. The way that you don't seem to take no for an answer is probably why she will never date you. Second, the fact that you think she won't get over heartbreak, avoid abusive cheaters, and have "something great" ONLY UNLESS she finally caves into your constant advances raises a ton of red flags. You probably mean well for her, but I'm glad she rejected you because I'm sure she agrees you don't seem very good for her either. As for the question you posed, be her friend. Teach her how to recognize abuser tactics, trust her instincts, set clear boundaries with potential boyfriends, how to confront people who violate those boundaries, etc. And STOP trying to get with her while you're doing it. That makes it seem like you're only being nice to her because you want her for yourself, don't be transactional. Be her unconditional friend because you want her safe/happy and nothing more.

Nikki 17

This sounds better if you re write it: Today I made unwanted advances towards a girl who has repeatedly shut me down in the past. This girl has been mistreated and abused by others and is now being harassed by me, why can’t she see how great I am? If you were truly that great, she wouldn’t be rejecting you, you have a warped perception of yourself.

You're not a white knight, or even a healthy match, you're a simp. Nobody is attracted to that. Don't you think she has enough problems without saddling her with yours too?

How are you any better than other men who don't accept no as an answer from women? That's why she won't date you. Keep this up, she'll completely kick you out of your life and you'll get an incel reputation. Leave. Her. Alone.

The answer here is STOP. Accept the "No.". She doesn't need any specific reason to reject you (though your little diatribe here certainly sounds like she has plenty of reasons to reject you). People are allowed to reject other people. Period. Go work on yourself somehow -- NOT, I should stress, to impress HER, but for yourself. Get yourself sorted out, and you'll be a better prospective match when the right person does come along. Not to mention, being a better person in general is its own reward.

You're giving off serious Nice Guy™ vibes here. She said no, and from what you said, not for the first time. No is a complete sentence. No means no. Move on, dude, before you become the creepy stalker. There's nothing for you here, she's made that clear. It's her life to live, not yours to "save".

kristinagir 11

No means no mother ******. What don’t you understand about that? The concent part?

No means no I think you need to check out you tube videos on r/nice guys. You can’t force someone into a relationship with you and your way of thinking is a huge nice guy fedora wearing red flag. If your only wanting to be around her to be nice to get points to force her to date you then you are just as abusive as her exs, stop harassing her, leave her alone cause you are not nice your entitled she doesn’t have to date you just cause you think your great.