By ShortieRose

Always proofread before sending

Today, I was texting with my close friend about her very sick father. She texted, "I hope he gets better" and I replied, "I hope he does." Autocorrect changed it to, "I hope he dies." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1972

You deserved it

394

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Instadrama

Out of it

Facebook's moderation sucks

By Anonymous - United States - East Northport

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

I agree, your life sucks

57856

You deserved it

5177

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By maybe if i was paid like them i would - United States - Houston

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28228

You deserved it

2561

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By GetHardOrGoHome - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

25484

You deserved it

3475

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By Anonymous - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48536

You deserved it

3299

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By Anonymous

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43739

You deserved it

4042

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By female

Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2799

You deserved it

339

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By Courtney - United States

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25972

You deserved it

5197

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By RosaP - Canada

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24284

You deserved it

42211

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By crap - United States

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11838

You deserved it

44777

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By nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29423

You deserved it

3687

Favorite

By IT_4_Hire - United States

Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73965

You deserved it

3205

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By Broguy - Canada

Today, I called my phone company to get some answers about my phone bill. I was okay with being put on hold. In fact, I was on hold for so long, that the music stopped playing. When someone finally answered they told me to call back tomorrow. All my phones disconnected an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37066

You deserved it

2923

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50699

You deserved it

9603

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By Pain - United States - Andover

Today, my parents "suggested" I help them move house. I didn't realize that meant I would be carrying every stick of furniture out of their house. The muscles in my arms are so tight now that I can't straighten them. I can't wait to help them unpack tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13155

You deserved it

1694

Favorite

By spongebob squarepants

Today, I rear-ended someone while trying to watch my odometer hit 80,000 miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1560

You deserved it

7188

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By just hangin

Today, as I was pulling wire for an addition to my boss's house, I was on a ladder drilling a hole when my coworker kicked the ladder out from under me and left me hanging from a rafter twenty feet in the air. To make matters worse, I had to pee. I'm now in my car with dead arms and wet pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7834

You deserved it

502

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By unicorn - United States

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67646

You deserved it

13233

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By Mogg - Australia

Move!

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34817

You deserved it

3245

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By HappinessOrOrgasms - United States - Tucson

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34169

You deserved it

4272

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By Anonymous

Today, I found out I have a new allergy: the sun. My face is so swollen that it has started to bleed to relieve the pressure. Today is also day 6 of the 3-month European trip that I spent all year saving for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4287

You deserved it

305

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By fuck yuo - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks

21454

You deserved it

5075

Favorite

By freakfreak12345 - United States

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10620

You deserved it

74604

Favorite

By buster - United States

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41246

You deserved it

8168

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By twice-a-day - United States

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36901

You deserved it

4012

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By goldenshower - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7464

You deserved it

56328

Favorite

By tony1401 - United States

Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32794

You deserved it

2742

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28388

You deserved it

5551

Favorite

By unproud - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42030

You deserved it

7008

Favorite

By NoMoreHeadphones - United States

Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15798

You deserved it

47183

Favorite

By Hotdogwater

Today, my neighbour put in a noise complaint against me for being loud at midnight. I was having a coughing fit and couldn't breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5584

You deserved it

329

Favorite

By MT - Finland

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23083

You deserved it

3573

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By loneliness - United States

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30046

You deserved it

7344

Favorite

By gotnogame - United States

Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25002

You deserved it

37832

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Peoria

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38293

You deserved it

3184

Favorite

By Stupid

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's wife. He's still saying he is not married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2423

You deserved it

298

Favorite

By Ugh

Today, at my work in a self-service chinese restaurant, a lady came up to me, pointed to the plate she loaded with honey king prawns, and yelled at me because she was allergic to seafood. She demanded a refund and another plate. Everything is clearly labeled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9093

You deserved it

514

Favorite

By frustrated - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56983

You deserved it

7377

Favorite

By bbbeast - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if i started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later he finds my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9969

You deserved it

135983

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31638

You deserved it

10025

Favorite

By tee - United States - Kansas City

Today, I found out people are suspicious of me at work because I do a good job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14143

You deserved it

1465

Favorite

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Top comments

By Joshua Daniel | 5

#7806962 - Tuesday 28 May 2019 23:48

Oh shit, that’s unfortunate and hilarious

By RichardPencil | 30

#7806968 - Wednesday 29 May 2019 1:23

Autocorrect always knows!

You cannot tell a lie.

COMMENTS

By Joshua Daniel | 5

#7806962 - Tuesday 28 May 2019 23:48

Oh shit, that’s unfortunate and hilarious

By RichardPencil | 30

#7806968 - Wednesday 29 May 2019 1:23

Autocorrect always knows!

You cannot tell a lie.

By Abbusser | 9

#7806977 - Wednesday 29 May 2019 2:12

Yeahhhhhhh... You're FU##ed...

By WeirdUS | 29

#7807007 - Wednesday 29 May 2019 5:37

Why would your phone auto corrected that generally comes up with guess is as to what it might be and what words you use frequently

By Sencilia101 | 31

#7807041 - Wednesday 29 May 2019 7:29

Send them another message apologising and tell them what you meant. I'm sure they'll understand it was an auto correct mistake.

By AstroTurfMatador | 11

#7807053 - Wednesday 29 May 2019 8:32

Oh, this is an old story. I saw this on one of those autocorrect sites at least 2 years ago.

ShortieRose | 30

#7807368 - Thursday 30 May 2019 4:16

i can assure you that this truly happened to me and i didnt "copy" it, nor have i ever submitted to another site.

By ShortieRose | 30

#7807367 - Thursday 30 May 2019 4:15

i cant believe this got posted. This happened around 3 years ago. I called my friend and explained the autocorrect moment. we laughed pretty hard. Her father ended up passing away. i still feel bad that this happened.

By Sheogorath | 4

#7809891 - Friday 7 June 2019 1:26

It's ok, I texted my boyfriend one morning "good morning love, I hope you slept well," but sent it to my manager on accident. It was really quite funny.