Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
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Top comments
eminemop 0
Hey, while he's there have him work for his stay- he can live there and you don't have to do laundry or dishes! It's a win-win situation!
ninjuh_wingman 29
You know your house is messy when a hobo believes that theres no way someone would live in it.
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Comments (61)
submynutz 3
thats racist
AnagenisisZagus 13
When a homeless person goes, "You live in this place? Holy shit! Get a broom you ******' animal." It just might be high time you cleaned up, man.
papasnbeer 0
Slumber party!!! I'll bring the popcorn.
hateevryone 15
fix the place up.
tswiftbaby 15
At least he didn't take your bedroom! :) sounds like a reasonable man to me.
fmlrocks25 0
That means your house is crappy as hell put some work into it
chelseaaababyyy 17
that would be strange. my friend once came home to a homeless man sitting on her couch watching t.v. and eating her mac & cheese. i would feel too bad to kick him out, though.
nfmarinelli2014 8
Or he lied, knew the house wasn't abandoned, and just got away with breaking and entering due to your idiocy
Cody24485 0
Better hope he doesn't have friends.
Vnmusduck 0
Might want to work on that a little...