Kids: Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing... - FML

By me - 23/10/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

agreeclassic 35 654

vote type 1 7 534

The rhythm of the fight
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Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

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Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

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By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

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By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

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By Mom2grls808 - 19/12/2018 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

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By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 14:14 - United States - Berwyn

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

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By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

Anbuntou 8

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:14

Children. Aren't they just precious...

slick5880 22

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:21

Shit happens. :)

Comments

Bieberbabeyy1 0

Monday 24 October 2011 8:10

wait, so your daughter likes the smell of dog poop? I'm sorry.

lauren80101 1

Monday 24 October 2011 9:04

Oh wow that was really nice of your daughter to do that.

satph 12

Monday 24 October 2011 9:26

wow what a sweet little girl you've raised! how adorable

elementalz 2

Monday 24 October 2011 13:12

SCORE!! I want her as a daughter id be so proud

cheeez4u 8

Monday 24 October 2011 17:14

ROTFL!! OWNED BITCH!!!

Batman846 0

Monday 24 October 2011 21:11

Well she's definitely grounded >:/

hyden121 2

Tuesday 25 October 2011 4:26

Hahahahahahahahah! What a little punk.

rsandroyo 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 6:09

Too funny

vitaldisplay 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 6:14

Just lick it off your face

QE1 9

Tuesday 25 October 2011 18:59

Lol! Can't wait till she becomes a teenager!

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vote type 1 688

Today, at work as a dog groomer, two dogs gave me bloody bites, completely unprompted. I went home in tears, so my family got Chinese takeout to cheer me up. My fortune cookie read, "It is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that counts." FML

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