Kids: Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink...

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 600

You deserved it 688 952

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Nick - 13/08/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 407

You deserved it 147 187

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 388

Irony failure

By alcoholic - 31/10/2009 14:30 - Estonia

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 826

You deserved it 51 739

Can't stop, won't stop

By Matt8 - 07/12/2012 01:07 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 458

You deserved it 2 119

About to Popov

By badmom - 27/03/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 357

You deserved it 17 984

By jgdgjyfg - 25/07/2011 07:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 196

You deserved it 8 912

By reasonablysingle - 11/06/2016 03:27 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 389

You deserved it 1 267

Hormonal hell

By Anonymous - 05/08/2020 23:02

Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 277

By ccat209 - 20/12/2016 04:05 - United States - Riverton

Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 680

You deserved it 9 069

Family values

By Anonymous - 06/10/2019 12:00 - Croatia

Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 642

WowLifeDoesSuck 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:01

Wow, kids are getting smarter.

mastercrammer 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:05

You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.

Comments

jayde_dox 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 9:11

i hope that killed you inside... ur kid is worried about ur health and u basically say **** off. you totally deserved that

klr31590 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 18:53

omg that is so sad. why would you share that? that's not a fml it's more like a wake up call

Scoochie 0

Friday 10 April 2009 11:09

Be happy ! You've got a very smart daughter ! :D

Scoochie 0

Friday 10 April 2009 11:12

I bet you're not that smart as her ...

shannon92 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 2:44

ur daughter is a smart girl, u should listen to her instead of destroying both of ur lives.

PIQ 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 5:43

Wow your kid sure is smart

jaca6614 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 8:59

Smart kid. God, I feel sorry for your daughter. She tries to do something to help you out of a serious problem, you basically say "**** you," then she basically says "No, **** YOU." That's hilarious, incredibly smart, and you're a prick if you don't listen. Take the advice and straighten up, if not for your life, then for hers.

JN226 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 2:49

i agree 100% with number #311. Seriously, you have a problem.

leighandnaomi 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 4:04

ROFL! WOW A SEVEN YEAR OLD IS WAAAYY SMARTER THAN YOU!! GET OVER IT, YOU DESERVED THAT ONE. seriously!!! stop being a burden on your OWN FAMILY!

dylann_fml 0

Monday 13 April 2009 1:10

Wow. I like how all of your idiots think he's an alcoholic. "If a seven year old thinks you have problems, you MUST have problems!!!!" ...Have you ever met a kid ever? The guy is probably not an alcoholic. A seven year old can't even grasp the concept of alcoholism (this is a fact - I study child psychology). If a seven year old tells you "my daddy's an alcoholic!!" it probably means that she's seen her father drink a few times. You're an idiot if you take it seriously.