Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
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Top comments
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
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Comments (862)
beingme 0
COMMON WAKE UP . That kid deserves an award .
chroniclurker 0
First thing to take away from this is that your daughter really loves you to try to get you to change. Sticking up to your parents at the age of seven is really hard. Second thing is, before you reach for that beer, think about your daughter. When you're in the hospital with liver failure, she will be the one sitting at the side of the bed knowing she can't help you. Depending on how heavily you're drinking, you may not live to see her graduate from high school, get married, or have kids. Do you WANT to see that look in her eyes, the knowledge that Daddy or Mommy won't be around for the most important parts of her life? That is, if she's still around at all. If she's worried about you now, that worry will turn into hate once she realizes it's possible to hate one's parents. Do you want to lose the love of your daughter for the sake of a beverage? I implore you to think about the things you take for granted that you stand to lose if you keep to this course of action.
tibbydibby 0
GET. HELP. LIKE NOW. THIS IS JUST LIFE OR DEATH. SERIOUSLY.
babygurl88 0
your daughter is wicked smart and the whole note thing is cute but you drinking so much to make even her say something is definately not bright. you deserved that one.
nenny84 4
wow. Take care of your kid. She deserves a mom who is not drunk all the time.
Hadeezz 0
Shes so smart and like a genius... But Actually .. I dont wanna have a kid like yours ..Sorry pal
Zapdemon 0
PWNED
CaptainDude86 0
Awesome. You SO deserved that. Talk to your daughter.
live1laugh2love3 0
ok YDI:because well you do.. but also FYL because your life must be very f*cked up for your daughter to have to give you a reality check.. for your sake and your daughters..i hope you stop
THysios 2
a 7 year old is smarter then u? haha