Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
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Top comments
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
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Comments (862)
crystalballzzz 0
hahaha YDI & FYLx100! thats pathetic a 7 year old has to give you a clue to stop drinking. and most likely, your not going to(stop drinking), and your going to ruin the relationship between you and your daughter. (like if it isnt already because she had the balls to do that to you.) and when shes a senior in high school shes going to be your worst enemy b/c by then shell probly be drinking more than you ever had, and youre going to be mad at her for that but guess what you wont be able to do anything about it!!! just how she couldnt do anything for you 10 years prior.
Me27 0
Very sad.
not_rytE 0
havent offered your kid a beer yet?
courtgirl263 0
this rly makes me sad. stop drinking, get help. it will really make u feel bad in the long run where your whole family hates you because your a drunk who cant quit. udi
id0nTgiv3af___ 0
and the award for world's worst parent goes to...
1337Steph 0
For the people saying that the kid is being brainwashed at school by the D.A.R.E. programs, that can't be true. I remember when I was in elementary school, D.A.R.E. didn't speak to us till we were in 5th grade, making me 11 years old at the time.
ftsk_fan_12 0
aw. thats sad. the least you could do is talk to her and make her feel better. complaining about it on fml just makes you sound like a dick whether you are one or not
lemonseed 0
Your should stop for your daughter's sake. I think that little guy is one creavtive kid.
Pinkish 0
Awww.....what a sweet daughter.......you should know how very lucky you are...and QUIT!!!!!!!
rofl_lmfao 0
wowww, i bet you felt like a douche bag.