Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Gimme a break
Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML
One happy family
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
Miserable lie
Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML
Diddums
Today, due to an emergency, I ended up working for 18 hours instead of 13. I'd texted my unemployed wife to let her know this was unavoidable, but when I got home she blamed me like she thought I planned this in advance, yelled at me, and my dinner was Heinz tomato soup I had to heat up myself. FML
Today, I worked a full day and then went to a three-hour class. I got home at 9 PM, and before the door closed I heard, "There's a sink full of dishes for you." There are three able-bodied men in the house, all of whom got here hours ago and created that sink full of dishes. FML
Get on with it
Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML
Quality family time
Today, after a long talk with the kids, I finally got all the chores around the house done early so we could have a fun family weekend. My wife decided to be a wet blanket and insisted we needed to deep clean the already clean kitchen. Three arguments later, everyone is sulking, and I'm working in the kitchen alone. FML
Hangry
Today, I got home at 7 after a long, stressful 12-hour shift. The second I walked through the door, my wife said, "Can you hurry up and make dinner? We're all starving." This happens all the damn time. FML
See ya
Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML
Top comments
foolishworkerbee 0
Grow a pair and tell them to take some responsibility.
Spierdalaj 7
Then don't do it until they get off their asses and help :/
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Comments (175)
underbluesky 0
Yeah, sounds like its time for you to man up. a) Don't wash their dishes b) Only cook yourself dinner c) buy yourself dinner. Alternately, it could be divorce'o'clock. hmm yeah. What an ungrateful family.
Belief_fml 0
Or perhaps your father trying to "lay down the law" led to the divorce. We will never know.
hannahb19993 0
uncle jon?
Lisimal 7
Where can I find others of your kind? It is rare to find such a whipped guy, in my area. Haha, just kidding. On second thought.....
delaney16 0
mealific wow that attitude is so typicly male!!!!!!
bookbee 2
GAH! I think your wife might be my husband.
BBMOMZ 0
You betta tell that lazy bitch to get off her ass and be a wife.. and get those brats in check and help..
canzo378 0
seriously, after washing a few dishes, just make a sammich and go upstairs and lock the door...simple
cookiiies_fml 0
103- EXACTLY what I meant. :) kudos.
poppetsauce 4
As a woman who works full time, I would still have done the dishes & dinner myself, or had one of the kids help clean up the kitchen and get dinner started and done before my husband came home from working a 10 hour shift.