Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my friend's birthday. She's been having problems with most of her friends besides me lately, so I wanted to do something special. I brought her a cake. Me and her were the only ones to have any. It gave us both food poisoning. FML
Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, my friend broke ties with me after I came out of the hospital from attempted suicide. She was the one who called the police for me to go in there in the first place. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I went over to my friend’s house while she was sick. In order to show me how bad her sense of smell was, she took a handful of VapoRub and rubbed it all over and inside of my nose then said, “Can you smell that? I can’t.” Yes, I can. But I can also feel my nostrils burning. FML
Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML
Today, I accidently accepted a lunch invitation from an old friend, because I forgot what they're like. Here comes another hour and a half monologue about how great they are. FML
Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML
Today, my best friend told me I'm the friend who no one really likes. This was after I had bought her lunch, ice cream, and a ticket to a movie we were going to see that day. FML
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Top comments
LlamaFlavoured 24
...take her to the cinema? ^_^
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
Now you can fart and she wont notice...but they had to be silent ones though.
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Comments (143)
drewfus2 6
Your friend is now a superhero... Or a supervillain.
IronMaiden45 0
just because she lost her sense of of smell and taste doesn't mean she wasn't hungry
boredoutmymind 0
She should be able to suck a mean one now no problem
cinderchan 2
is this a good joke?
ProhibitionRose 14
Ah we let me correct myself... That's a little on the thoughtless/insensitive side. Taking her friend shopping or to a movie or to get her nails done would've been a much better suggestion.
ProhibitionRose 14
*sigh* eff you dysfunctional phone
nateiztite 5
think before you speak
animalover721 3
Now that's just dumb on your part
Justin23L 2
I'm pretty sure she still has to eat though...
TylerOMFG 7
Buy her a vibrator, that should suffice.
TylerOMFG 7
Maybe buy her a vibrator? That should suffice.