Today, while directing traffic in uniform, I tripped over a traffic...

By onemoredonut - 3/5/2016 01:39 - United States - Herndon

Today, while directing traffic in uniform, I tripped over a traffic cone and fell straight on my butt in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12611

You deserved it

1275

Favorite

Work

Family values

Cold-blooded old times

You can't win sometimes

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 02:49 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28143

You deserved it

2854

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/9/2013 22:35 - United States - Cypress

Today, my mom mentioned how she loves certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34522

You deserved it

20230

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/6/2014 18:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55357

You deserved it

4531

Favorite

By sassman - 1/12/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46569

You deserved it

4254

Favorite

By myjobsucks - 13/12/2011 02:15 - Australia

Today, I found out that I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm spending my favourite time of the year working for $8.70 an hour. At McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41195

You deserved it

9231

Favorite

By Sunny - 12/9/2018 07:30 - United States - Milwaukee

Awkward...

Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2694

You deserved it

239

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/7/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27520

You deserved it

3442

Favorite

By Chicagoillinois - 3/1/2015 21:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my step-dad explained to me why he doesn't need to wash his body. He condescendingly said, "Well when you shampoo your hair, the soap runs down your body and cleans everything." He's 37 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33630

You deserved it

2871

Favorite

By anonymous2.0 - 12/10/2012 06:15 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24156

You deserved it

3621

Favorite

By Anonymous - 11/11/2009 00:28 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13367

You deserved it

80796

Favorite

By yankeeboy123 - 12/1/2015 05:03 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38510

You deserved it

3301

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/9/2010 23:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26339

You deserved it

12996

Favorite

By Jim - 19/4/2016 17:25 - United States

Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20220

You deserved it

4126

Favorite

By Humiliated & Heart-Broken - 30/7/2014 04:41 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44524

You deserved it

5132

Favorite

By Lorena - 21/4/2012 19:26 - United States - Kapolei

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26959

You deserved it

3067

Favorite

By nhyari - 25/8/2014 18:58 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45958

You deserved it

4134

Favorite

By bananayellowteeth - 3/5/2009 08:37 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52708

You deserved it

9038

Favorite

By jostertoaster12 - 13/2/2015 20:31 - United States - Steamboat Springs

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30111

You deserved it

2383

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/4/2012 07:24 - United States - Everett

Today, I actually used Febreze as a substitute for deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9583

You deserved it

27832

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/9/2015 01:15 - United States - Mountain View

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27350

You deserved it

2554

Favorite

By Time to study again - 8/11/2017 15:00

Today, I was taking the SAT and feeling really confident in my answers. When we were close to finishing, some idiot pulled the fire alarm. All of us have to retake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4514

You deserved it

206

Favorite

By Imaginary girlfriend - 21/9/2009 04:16 - France

Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48609

You deserved it

5831

Favorite

By anon - 11/7/2015 12:51 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24596

You deserved it

3068

Favorite

By annonymous - 19/9/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36166

You deserved it

2689

Favorite

By well great. - 17/5/2013 22:28 - United States - Pascagoula

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46979

You deserved it

11881

Favorite

By Cougar - 24/7/2009 19:05 - United States

Today, I was at work when my mother called. She gave me great news that she had finally cleaned out my room and all those "old and useless" books that I had in there. Those "useless" books that she had just trashed were all antiques and worth about $500 each. There were 27 books in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58513

You deserved it

5177

Favorite

By Amber C - 7/4/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15921

You deserved it

22841

Favorite

By nomorexbox - 26/4/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

44907

You deserved it

13414

Favorite

By lonelyguy321 - 27/7/2010 14:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40105

You deserved it

16496

Favorite

By hylianprincess - 25/9/2014 11:19 - United States

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34593

You deserved it

3246

Favorite

By liz - 8/3/2010 01:46 - United States

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24476

You deserved it

2573

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/6/2013 18:49 - France - Le Rove

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54175

You deserved it

3137

Favorite

By Anonymous - 19/6/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51530

You deserved it

8379

Favorite

By smsmall - 3/10/2011 12:08 - United States

Today, I finally admitted that I have to consider buying a nose hair trimmer. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27249

You deserved it

4155

Favorite

By unemployedaussie - 23/6/2016 12:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was fired because my boss found out I had been looking for a new job. Then, I got a call from my only job prospect, saying I was overqualified and too young to work there as a waitress. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14054

You deserved it

1353

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/6/2014 18:20 - United States - Fresno

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59173

You deserved it

5705

Favorite

By Oopsie - 20/7/2019 04:00

Today, nine hours into a ten-hour shift, I accidentally told a customer, "You're a problem!" instead of, "You're welcome!" or, "No problem!" She gave me a dirty look and hurried off before I could correct myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1401

You deserved it

213

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/5/2019 20:03

Today, I went straight from a kickboxing class to a first date. I coughed and a tooth that must have been knocked loose during free sparring fell into my hand, and I got blood on my shirt and the table. My date had a blood phobia and passed out, breaking her own front tooth on the table edge FML

I agree, your life sucks

2184

You deserved it

352

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/9/2011 10:26 - Singapore

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45833

You deserved it

3642

Favorite

By OhhhNooo - 14/3/2010 23:23 - United States

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33728

You deserved it

2426

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By MyGFisaturd | 23

#6595846 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 15:30

I hope you mean ex-Traffic Cone!

By bellydancer82 | 15

#6595843 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 15:26

Yikes, that's awkward. Hope you were ok OP, just have to brush it off and laugh about it later.

Comments

By igg125 | 30

#6595842 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 15:25

At least you didn't get ran over.

By bellydancer82 | 15

#6595843 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 15:26

Yikes, that's awkward. Hope you were ok OP, just have to brush it off and laugh about it later.

By MyGFisaturd | 23

#6595846 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 15:30

I hope you mean ex-Traffic Cone!

arano | 29

#6596043 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 19:39

Didn't expect that one #4. Made me laugh.

By wanted_2_want | 40

#6595847 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 15:29

That's a sure way to stop traffic !!
I hope you're ok now.

By TheSiraffe | 16

#6595848 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 15:30

Did you yell officer down?

freddygasman | 18

#6596456 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 5:26

haven't you watched the Simpson's, it's officer needs back up. it's one of the episodes in the future and a cloned Ralph falls down.

By Sherlihy | 6

#6595855 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 15:41

Who cares

By Dodge4x4Ram | 46

#6595861 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 15:58

I got hit by a car just crossing legally, you don't want to experience that trust me.

By Cauldroup | 13

#6595894 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 16:49

I apologise for a spam comment, but I couldn't find this anywhere. Do replies to your comments get in your inbox?

By Anubis94 | 24

#6595907 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 17:02

When that happens, just get up and start dancing it off because you've already gone and embarrassed yourself :D

By juturnaamo | 29

#6595994 - Tuesday 3 May 2016 18:31

Sorry about your rough day, but thank you for keeping kids and pedestrians safe!